Author Archives: John Moynes

UK Prime Minister Theresa May and Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn in the House of Commons yesterday

As one all the Tories conclude
That Jeremy was rather rude
To their dear leader May
But what did he say?
Who cares while their country’s still screwed?

John Moynes

Pics: Sky News

Yesterday: Read My Lips

US President  Donald Trump has agreed to dissolve his charitable foundation

The Donald once sought acclamation
By running his big Trump Foundation
Which he called a success
But the books were a mess
Which defied any honest narration

John Moynes

Pic: AP

Australian MP Andrew Broad has promised to quit politics following allegations he was using websites to meet younger women on business trips

An Australian seeking a date
Once texted the words “G’day mate”
To someone in Hong Kong
Which his wife felt was wrong
And it sealed his political fate

John Moynes

Pic: AP

Met Éireann forecasters see little chance of snow this Christmas

Each Christmas we dream of the sight
Of a landscape that’s glistening and white
So will we have snow?
The boffins say no
So let’s hope they’re all talking shite

John Moynes

Pic: Diageo

Clean-shaven Irish Times cultural critic Donald Clarke has called for a ban on beards

When Donald admitted he feared
The sight or the feel of a beard
Was he being sardonic
Or merely ironic?
I don’t care. He’s wrong and he’s weird.

John Moynes

Pic: Irish Times

UK Prime Minister Theresa May in Downing Street last night

An Etonian’s dream of a coup
Failed, in the end, to come true
And Prime Minister May
Again starts her day
With no idea what she should do

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Sir Graham Brady (left), the chair of the 1922 Committee, has received at least 48 letters from Conservative MPs calling for a vote of no confidence in Theresa May (right) as UK Prime Minister

A Tory grandee Graham Brady
Has given bad news to a lady
He’s got forty eight notes
So it’s time for some votes
And her future’s looking quite shady

John Moynes

Pic via Twitter

UK Labour Party MP Lloyd Russell-Moyle makes a Brexit protest in Britain’s House of Commons yesterday

Westminster’s a curious place
And the Brits are rather odd race
Their latest disorder’s
Not caused by hard borders
Just a chap with a five foot long mace

John Moynes

Irish adults can expect on average to put on half a stone over the Xmas holidays

This month there’s a magical date
When we pile extra food on our plate
So you won’t be alone
If you gain half a stone
As they say that’s our national fate

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock