I’ve heard that some Fine Gael bloke
Is raising the price of my smoke
I’m coughing with rage
For on my low wage
They’ll soon leave me totally broke
John Moynes
Pic: Wikipedia
Author Archives: John Moynes
We all know if we want to keep
Ourselves healthy we need lots of sleep
Or your memory will fail
And you’ll start to ail
With diseases that may make you weep
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
‘The Trump Prophecy’, which casts Donald Trump as the ‘chosen one’ is to be screened in US cinemas
An omnipotent fellow named God
Has joined the Republican squad
He’s going to stump
For Donald J Trump
Which strikes me as just a bit odd.
John Moynes
Theresa May drag queens, from left: Fagulous, Ripley, Sue Gives a Fuck and Lydia L’Scabies.
There are some fellows out there who say
It’s fun to dress like Mrs May
You’ll look really neat
While running through wheat
And it’s certain to brighten your day
John Moynes
Pic: David Levene/The Guardian
The Syria-bound Irish Army 58th Infantry Group at Cathal Brugha Barracks, Rathmines, Dublin 6 last month. Some members of the Defence Forces are being paid less than the minimum wage.
We all know that soldiers are tough
And the life that they lead can be rough
But one look at their wage
Is sure to enrage
It’s high time we paid them enough
John Moynes
Plans to open a robot brothel in Houston, Texas have been shelved
Some fellows consider it hot
To lie in a bed with a bot
But if they want to rent
They’ll have cause to lament
In Houston, where it seems they cannot
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Former UK Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has described Theresa May’s ‘Irish backstop’ agreement with the EU as a “moral and intellectual humiliation”.
You know that it’s conference time when
Johnson tries thinking again
Here’s what must be done:
Go back to square one
And everything’s bound to work then
John Moynes
Gemma O’Doherty failed to secure a nomination to contest the Presidency of Ireland
If you ask for votes some people choose
To consider it and then refuse
So it’s best to keep calm
Don’t throw toys from the pram
It’s not fascism just ’cause you lose
John Moynes
US president Donald Trump drew laughter during an address to the United Nations assembly in New York yesterday
The world’s biggest bullshit emitter
Is more than a little bit bitter
He decided to reach
Out with a big speech
And all he got back was a titter.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
‘Weetabix’ labels In a New Zealand shop must be covered up to protect local cereal brand ‘Weet-Bix’
A breakfast of dry compressed wheat
Doesn’t strike me as much of a treat
But in one hemisphere
The courts interfere
To let big corporations compete
John Moynes