Christmas jumpers for dogs on sale at Aldi
Now as we draw evermore near
To the tackiest time of the year
You can go the whole hog
And dress up your dog
And spread tidings of canine good cheer.
John Moynes
Pic: Aldi
Meanwhile…Does your pet enjoy Christmas? Send your pet at Xmas to broadsheet@broadsheet.ie marked ‘My Pet At Xmas’.
Today’s weather forecasts all show
A definite sub zero low
So always think twice
Before driving on ice
Dress warmly and mind how you go.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
US Republican congressman Joe Barton (Texas)
There are pictures on twitter that show
A Republican congressman Joe
In the quite recent past
With his flag at full mast
What it looks like I don’t want to know.
John Moynes
Pic: AP
This survey reveals vital news
For people who like to buy booze
Always include
The effect on your mood
When deciding which tipple to choose.
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
Some philosophers say there should not
Be a ban on the high tech sex bot
The boffins agreed
That they fulfill a need
And add that they’re also quite hot.
John Moynes
Pic: The Fedaralist
Above from left: Sinn Féin President Gerry Adam, leader of Sinn Féin in the Northern Ireland Assembly Michelle O’Neill and Deputy president Mary Lou McDonald at the party’s Ard Fheis in the RDS, Dublin last Saturday.
If what they are saying is true
The Shinners will have Mary Lou
Instead of old Gerry
Which seems to be very
Convenient. No voting to do.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Sand on Ashleam Beach, Achill Island, County Mayo has returned
On an island far out to the west
The locals all know that they’re blessed
A new beach at Dooagh
Now Ashleam makes it two
In the one year. Now who could have guessed?
John Moynes
Pic: Google Earth/irishTimes
Chen Xi (above) says top Chinese officials are guilty of practising sorcery
A communist leader called Chen
Has said that he gets angry when
The Chinese tradition
Of folk superstition
Eclipses his party’s great men.
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
Pope Francis, with inmates in Philadelphia, will visit a prison during his time Ireland
If you’re worried that you cannot cope
With the fear that you won’t meet the Pope
Just bungle a crime
And make sure you do time
Then sit in your cell and just hope.
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
A Neolithic jar, possibly used for brewing wine, found at the site of Khramis-Didi-Gora, Georgia
In Georgia they’ve found a strong sign
Of stone-agers fermenting wine
Eight thousand years old
And best served quite cold
To accompany: mammoth is fine.
John Moynes
Pic: Georgian National Museum
