The government is to be told
To raise the retirement threshold
The ESRI
Thinks there’s no reason why
We can’t squeeze some more work from the old.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

A Fianna Fáil politician has become embroiled in a ‘honeytrap’ blackmail plot

If you meet in a chatroom and click
And they ask for a pic of your dick
Then please be aware
That your online affair
May turn out to be merely a trick.

John Moynes

Broadcaster George Hook

That bilious broadcaster Hook
Has a rather old fashioned outlook
He once announced “I’m
Sure the victims of crime
Are to blame for the actions they took.”

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Some boffins in Belfield have said
They know why your nose yearns for bread
Its odours, in sum
Remind you of your mum
And make dopamine flow through your head

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

Sharia Law is operating in Ireland and most of the political class either do not know or do not care. It is a subversion of our legal system

— Cllr Brian Murphy (@brianmurphycllr) September 5, 2017

The majority of the media in the Western world are cowards, most politicians are cowards and most of the artistic establishment are cowards.

— Cllr Brian Murphy (@brianmurphycllr) September 4, 2017

There should be visible armed police outside Leinster House (The Dail) due to the very real danger we unfortunately now face.

— Cllr Brian Murphy (@brianmurphycllr) September 6, 2017

On twitter it has come to light
That one councillor’s on the alt-right
Will Fine Gael let
This young martinet
Drag their name into the shite?

John Moynes

Minister for Health Simon Harris (right) wants to ban anonymous sperm donations

For fertility treatment we need
Anonymous donors of seed
Now young Simon asks
Them to take off their masks
But the doctors have all disagreed

John Moynes

Pics: Rollingnews/Shutterstock

UK Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn

Though Corbyn’s main course is complete
With some veg and an absence of meat
He avoids the extremes
For pudding, it seems
The cheese board’s still his favourite treat.

John Moynes

Pic: PA

Anti-Brexit Conservative MEP Charles Tannock

Charles Tannock was wont to exhort
His countrymen all to support
The cause of Remain
So to temper his pain
He’s picked up a brand new passport.

John Moynes

Pic: PA

From left: Brexit secretary David Davis and EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier in Brussels yesterday

In Brussels the British revealed
They won’t keep their land border sealed
May said “Give them hell”
But then Dave met Michel
And promptly proceeded to yield.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Pollution on the Tolka at Drumcondra’s Griffith Park, Dublin 9 in 2014

For years now out waters have been
So dirty it’s downright obscene
It can’t be disputed
They’re far too polluted
Oh when will our rivers run clean?

John Moynes

Pic via Ciaran Cuffe