David Attenborough, during the filming of BBC’s Life on Earth in 1979, has called for more privacy for gorillas in zoos
If you’re going out to the zoo
Spare a thought on just what you will do
It’s rather unfair
To openly stare
So why not dress up as a gnu?
John Moynes
Pic: BBC
The British, like many folk,choose
To get their nutrition from booze
I must admit that
It’s quite low on fat
So I can’t see how they could lose.
John Moynes
Pic: MailOnline
There once was a fellow named Bob
Who made pretty sounds with his gob
He gave old fashioned folk
One hell of a poke
And turned out the best at his job.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The government’s pushing up tax
On sugary drinks to the max
But just so you know
Your sugary Joe
Doesn’t fizz, so you can all relax.
John Moynes
Pic: Pixaby
Still haven’t had a first cup of tea this morning, debugging the kettle and now iWifi base-station has reset. Boiling water in saucepan now. pic.twitter.com/lC3uNX5WTp
— Mark Rittman (@markrittman) October 11, 2016
One right on which we all agree
Is an Englishman’s right to his tea
After spending a day
In search of a way
To brew with his IT degree.
John Moynes
Samsung’s fire-prone Galaxy Note 7 smartphone
At Samsung, the newspapers tell,
That things really aren’t going well
The Galaxy Seven,
A phone lover’s heaven,
Looks more like the red flames of hell.
John Moynes
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton at last night’s US Presidential debate
The Donald’s a man who won’t quail
From throwing opponents in jail
So he claimed in his rant
But the law says he can’t
And he’s overlooked that detail.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Ukip MEP Steven Woolfe was seen collapsed on the floor in Strasbourg yesterday
Steve Woolfe said “Let’s take this outside”
Which Mike Hookem couldn’t abide
And when Mike saw red
He swung for Steve’s head
Then all of us laughed till we cried.
John Moynes
Pic: ITV
In Derry some reckon The Sun
Is a newspaper people should shun
So they’re writing to shops
Saying don’t sell red tops
It’s not censorship, just good clean fun.
John Moynes
British Home Secretary Amber Rudd at the Conservative Party Conference yesterday
The racist Home Secretary Rudd
Revived Enoch’s river of blood
With a plan for a list
That all should resist
As she drags Britain’s name through the mud.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
