Donald Trump Jnr

At first you might find it quite sweet
When Donald’s son offers a treat
But the taste of the pill
Will make you quite ill
As he’s laced it with racist deceit.

John Moynes

Pic: Associated press

This news won’t shock anyone here:
There’s a side effect to drinking beer
It makes you less shy
And that may be why
It gets your groin into top gear.

John Moynes

Senator Catherine Noone arriving at the Keadeen Hotel in Newbridge, Co Kildare, for the annual Fine Gael Think-In on Monday

At first just Michelle, but then soon
She was echoed by Senator Noone
Each would make her mark
In the stands at Croke Park
While humming an entitled tune.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Devon grandmother Rozamund Perrin and underwear posted to her with an angry note.

If you buy a cottage in Devon
don’t hang on your washing line seven
Pairs of frilly pants
Or you’ll receive rants
Of the kind that you won’t hear in Heaven.

John Moynes

Pics: Kent Express & Echo

Some boffins in Bath now surmise
That they’ve worked out a way for two guys
To make a new life
Without needing a wife
Will this win them a Nobel Prize?

John Moynes

Norwegian black metaller and town councillor Fenriz

Most metal stars who seek a thrill
Turn to bottle or powder or pill
But I’m shocked to say
That up in Norway
They’re councillors, against their own will.

John Moynes

Pic: Pitchfork

An entry in the Belfast High School yearbook

If you decide to take a look
At a Belfast High School yearbook
Be careful, the sight
Of some very far right
Opinions may leave you quite shook.

John Moynes

Pic: Belfast Telegraph

There’s a lot to be said for cheap meat
If you’re looking for a nice treat
But try to avoid
Any cops you’ve annoyed
And shop somewhere far from their beat.

John Moynes

Pic: Press Association

No one thought that we could, but somehow
We’ve survived forty years without Mao
To him all is owed
And to stray from his road
Is something that can’t be allowed.

John Moynes

Groom Brian Kelly (left) and his missing Best Man Ed Costello, 1973

Many years ago when Brian wed
He was backed up by his best man Ed
But Ed had to go
And Brian wants to know
Where his old friend now lays his head.

John Moynes