The UK Sun’s infamous Hillsborough cover (left) and today’s front page
Why does anyone still buy The Sun?
After all that they’ve said, that they’ve done?
Don’t worry, it’s fine,
There are still tits online,
That paper’s not clever or fun.
John Moynes
Norwegian guide Johan Mikkelson with an 89lb cod
In Norway someone with a rod,
May well land an almighty cod,
If you get your wish,
And catch a coffee fish,
Then give thanks to some undersea god.
John Moynes
Pic: Sportsquest Holidays
Happy to announce that I am BACK on UFC 200!
Shout out to @danawhite and @lorenzofertitta on getting this one done for the fans. #Respect— Conor McGregor (@TheNotoriousMMA) April 25, 2016
After copping a whole load of flack,
Young Conor McGregor is back,
When he said he’d retire,
He was yanking your wire,
And wasn’t it brilliant craic?
John Moynes
Sinn Féin’s 1916 commemoration outside the GPO this morning
A moustachiode fellow named Clarke
Who found insurrection a lark
Said “Beating the Brits
May sound tricky but it’s
Like taking a walk in the park.”
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Members of ‘Friends of Abe’, from left: Gary Sinise, Kelsey Grammar and Jon Voight
It’s time for us to bid goodnight,
To the home of the Hollywood Right,
A shabby old club,
That served lousy grub,
And never sent me an invite.
John Moynes
Getty
Former Armagh GAA football captain Jarlath Burns
A high profile GAA man,
Has alienated a fan,
With a comment that said,
That the shape of her head,
Resembled the back of a van.
John Moynes
Derry Journal
Utah Governor Gary Herbert (above) signed a resolution which declares pornography “a public health hazard
In Utah they’re pouring their scorn,
On the evil temptations of porn,
So bodily bits,
Like arses and tits,
Are banned now, along with the horn.
John Moynes
(Bloomberg)
https://vine.co/v/iFA2TupJhYt
Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump at rally in Buffalo, New York last night
The gap between seven and nine,
Is naught but a very fine line,
And if Don makes a slip,
As he shoots from the hip,
There’s no need to nit-pick and whine.
John Moynes
Artist Ashley Illma Gore with her portrait of Donald Trump
An artist named Gore may be sued,
If she flogs off a tatty old nude,
It’s not bad, as it stands,
But she drew tiny hands,
And the whole thing looks crazy and rude.
John Moynes
Pic: Ilma Gore
In a cock-up that’s tricky to beat,
A coder managed to delete,
All his customers’ sites,
Now it’s time for last rites,
His career has been short if not sweet.
John Moynes
(Digital Journal)
