Cavan sausage maker Barry has secured a place in the Guinness Book of World Records
A butcher called Barry John Crowe
Would like the entire world to know
He’ll put seventy eight
Sausages on your plate
In a minute, and that’s far from slow.
John Moynes
Pic: Guinness World Records
Communal trays at airports were found to have more germs than toilet areas
Flying can be such a drag
Like when you put your coat and your bag
In a manky old tray
And you know there’s no way
It’s ever been wiped with a rag
John Moynes
Pic: Dublin Airport
Businessman and presidential hopeful Seán Gallagher makes his pitch to elected members of Leitrim County Council yesterday
Seán Gallagher walked out unbowed
In Leitrim where he clearly vowed
That his Fianna Fáil past
Which left voters aghast
Is something of which he’s still proud
John Moynes
Pic via OceanFM
Leo Varadkar suggested during the Fine Gael leadership campaign the creation of “anonymous accounts to make positive comments under online stories on popular news websites”, according a new biography of the Taoiseach
If you wonder why some people choose
To talk on the web about news
There’s a chance, I’m afraid
That they’re being paid
To recycle other folk’s news
John Moynes
Russian astronauts on board the International Space Station have reportedly patched a 2mm hole in the craft using sealant and a cloth
In space it just takes one small freak
Collision and you’ve got a leak
They’re not sure what to do
So here’s a quick clue:
Make spaceships that aren’t so damned weak
John Moynes
Pic: Nasa
Trinity College is seeking a wine distributor to supply it with “at least 8,466 bottles at a total estimated cost of €170,000 over a two-year period”.
The Trinity Fellows incline
To the very best things when they dine
And an evening of food
Must always include
Some bottles of rather nice wine
John Moynes
Pic: Tourism Ireland
Sean Gallagher (left) with Michael D Higgins at the Presidential election count in Dublin Castle, October 11, 2011
It still seems a little unclear
Why you’d run for the Áras this year
Unless starved for attention
Or seeking a pension
As Higgins has little to fear
John Moynes
Gavin Duffy says he has re-mortgaged his home to raise up to €750,000 for a Presidential run
When making a bid for the throne
You don’t want to use funds of your own
So go to the bank
And be perfectly frank
And they’re certain to give you a loan.
John Moynes
Tanaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs and Trade Simon Coveney introduces his three daughters to Pope Francis at Dublin Airport on Saturday
When asked if she would greet the Pope
Simon’s young daughter said “nope”
And a bribe of a cat
Was the only thing that
Could persuade the wee Coveney to cope
John Moynes
US president Donald Trump with National Enquirer publisher David Pecker
David Pecker, once Trump’s stalwart friend
Under pressure has started to bend
Now he’ll tell a tale
To stay out of jail
For it seems every bromance must end
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
