With SIX wonderful Dublin public transport maps by Colin Broderick on offer

We asked you: If Dublin had an underground what should it be called?

You answered in your dozens.

Winners:

Orla: “DURT – Dublin Underground Rail Transport”.

sound migration: “The Smack Track. – “Fly through the veins into the heart of the city”

Spaghetti Hoop: “THE BRAM”

ahjayzis: “The Dublin-Area All-Weather Automobile Avoider – DAA-WAA (?)”

Stewart Curry: “Light Innercity Operational Subway, or LIOS”

P-Macs: “Subterranean Hiberno Integrated Transport Experiment…”

Thanks  all

Buy a map here

Previously Win The Dublin Overground

Honest Pizza, 12 Dame Court, Dublin 2

It’ll put hairs on your hair.

Eoin writes:

Everyone loves an oul pizza … and now damn hungry hipsters Dubliners can enjoy authentic Italian pizzas backed by the reputation of one of the capital’s best-loved eateries. Brought to you by the lads behind Honest to Goodness, Honest Pizza features proper thin-crust pizzas made with top-notch ingredients, baked in a custom-made, wood-burning stove. Situated above Honest to Goodness on Dame Court (opposite the Stag’s Head) smack-bang in the centre of D2. And to celebrate … one lucky broadsheet reader can win dinner for TWO  at Honest Pizza THIS weekend  by completing de following: ‘A thin crust pizza is the most honest pizza because………….”

Honest Pizza, Dame Court (Facebook)

Lines MUST close at 7.45 (winner will be notified before 9pm)

Stop messing at the back!

The Art Of Painting Buses is an Xmas stocking filler from  the signwriters at Freeney’s Graphics (Tallaght, Dublin], who have been painting Dublin buses for more years then they care to remember (approx 25).

We had one copy (yes ONE) to give away to a Dublin Bus porn addict with the best Dublin Bus yarn.

Runners-UP

Limey Tank: “On a Nitelink home, some extremely drunk young lads got on the bus having robbed napkin holders and the huge straw holders from Burger King. One of the lads got sick on the floor and there was much groaning from the other passengers. One of his buddies took a single napkin from the huge holder under his arm and dabbed daintily at the corners of his friends mouth. To everybody’s surprise they went to work cleaning up and the mood on the bus lightened considerably.
“A few minutes later, the same chap went green again. This time he grabbed the straw dispenser dumped the straws and got sick into it. Some wag from the back of the bus shouted “Would you like a straw with that?, much to everybody’s amusement. Then I got off the bus at the wrong stop and had to walk for ages.”

Noel: “in 1993, I worked with a man in his 50′s that had never driven into Dublin city. On his return to work, he was asked how he got into the city centre. On the N4, he spotted a Dublin bus with the sign for city centre at a stop, he pulled over in front of the bus, and waited for the bus to continue. He then proceeded to follow the bus, pulling in every time the bus did. After 4-5 stops, the bus driver gets out to find out why is he been followed. the bloke in the car near sh*t himself, not thinking he might be acting suspiciously, tried to explain that he didnt know way to the city centre.”

Noel: “I used get the dart to school so when I made it to college I had to change to the bus. I obviously got the bus 100′s of times before, but never to college. It was my first day, I was all excited to meet new people, meet girls, act like a grown up etc. I got to the bus stop and only then did I realise I didn’t know the fair. I walked onto the bus with a handful of coins:
Me: I’m going to UCD
Driver: (in a droll monotone) Congratulations.
He laughed, the people around me laughed, I blushed. Every day (well, when I made class during his shift) for the following few years I got a ‘UCD?’ question off him. Top man!”

Winner:

Big Mad Bond Fan: “When I was 16, I used to go into town on the bus and I would pay the child fare (under-16s). The driver never questioned it. One day, the inspector got on and looked at my ticket and looked at me and looked again at my ticket and looked again at me. Then he said “How old are you?”. I thought quickly and said “I’m 16 today”. Technically, I hadn’t told a lie. The fact that I had been 16 the previous day and would still be 16 the next day wasn’t mentioned by me and he didn’t think to ask. He said “Well, from tomorrow on, you need to pay the adult fare”. And I did!”

Thanks all.

The Art of Painting Buses will be available next week.

Signwriter Fran Carroll writes:

“We are setting a website for the book with a PayPal account, etc. and are expecting a delivery of the book next week around December 15th….”

Previously: Give The Gift Of Dublin Bus Porn

Freeney’s Graphics

Dazzle your friends.

Take off your Xmas jumper to reveal your Xmas tee.

The wearing of items from the Savage Christmas Tee shirt range [see link below] at this time of year is a tradition as old as Jack Frost himself.

The range is available at Savage’s pop up store in conjunction with the Christmas Shirt Company in St. Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre.

We have two (yes TWO) Xmas jumper-style tees (as above) in 100 per cent cotton and in ANY size to recklessly give away.

Savage would like to you to tell them:

The worst present I have ever given was____________________to my____________________

Lines MUST close at 5.45pm 8.45pm

Savage Christmas Tee Shirts

Thanks Katie

Further to the ‘controversial’ Irish-Made Stocking Filler, The Man Box by Grand Grand.

Fergus at GrandGrand has given us TWO boxes  stuffed with manly stuff worth €25 EACH for TWO lucky men.

Just complete this sentence.

My man could use a box because___________________________________________

Lines MUST close at 2.45pm 3.15pm

GrandGrand.ie

Earlier: Stocking Filler – For Man

To celebrate the series of FREE events at 42 Dawson Street, Dublin this week organised by event giants Event Brite [and with a €100 Music Voucher on offer] we asked: What was your worst Irish event experience?

You answered in your tens.

Runners up:

Peckerhead: ‘My worst Irish event experience was getting a brick thrown at me by an off-duty Garda during an anti-water charges protest’. And I have the photos to prove it….”

ZeligIsJaded: “My worst Irish event experience was Féile 1994. My first big concert. 16 years old and raring to go. Bought a bottle of vodka for the ‘weekend’, but like an idiot, managed to drink most of it on the train to Thurles. My partners in crime (let’s call them B & C) drank similar amounts. Upon exiting the train, we went about navigating our way to our B&B for the night. The rest in a bit of a blur, but by the time we got there, I’d managed to piss down the front of my trousers. B, who was 15 and a young 15 at that, had managed to slash his hand on broken glass, and was crying pretty loudly about it. C had acquired glow sticks from somewhere. Thinking it would be cool to open the sticks to spray the glow-in-the-dark liquid all over our clothes, he was biting the top off one stick when it sprayed into his mouth causing a fit of coughing that resulted in a bout of vomiting. So he had to proceed with puke covered clothes and a glow-in-the-dark face. I’m not 100% sure how long it took us to find the B&B (can’t have been more than 20 mins), but by the time we got there we looked worse than some of those I’ve seen returning from 3 days at EP. Fair play to the lady of the house for letting us in at all. We eventually made it to the gig and sat quietly. Too hungover and sick to do anything else.”

Mike Dublin: “My worst Irish experience ever is going to see the Pope when I was four. We were there FOREVER and my granny was sitting on the only deck chair we had. God, I wanted that chair. I was so jealous. There she was sitting smugly on that lovely light blue heavenly comfortable striped nylon chair surrounded by Moo mint wrappers……. God rest her.”

Shane: “My worst Irish event experience was my sister’s wedding. I passed out on top of the wedding cake and got sick on her dress.”

Roro Shabado: “My worst Irish event experience was having a very inebriated man expel urine upon my leg at a Metallica gig in the RDS. How very un-rock and roll.”

Scooperman: “My worst Irish event experience was at EP [Electric Picnic] a few years ago. I was rolling up a joint and a lovely looking young wan came over and started chatting to me. Turned out she was an undercover cop and I was nicked. Sh1t times.”

RoryG: “Oasis at Slane a few years back. We had to walk for miles with hundreds others past far too-few Dublin buses, which had frustrating amounts of room inside but were not letting any more people on. We were completely out of Cigarettes and Alcohol and Dublin seemed like Half the World Away. We were picked up at about 6am on a country road by a random passing bus. The driver took pity on us Crying our Hearts Out. Before our rescue we had soggy chips sold to us from a derelict boarded-up pub and rested in a ditch for a while. It took 9 hours to get from Slane to Dublin. I didn’t even live here at the time and had to sleep on a wooden floor in a mate’s house when we finally arrived. Haven’t been back to Slane since…I try not to look Back in Anger but to this day I still get the sweats whenever Wonderwall comes on the radio… D’You know what I mean?”

Pooter: “I went to all the Munster rugby matches. And I had a ticket for the match in Thomond Park on 31st October 1978. Against the All Blacks. However, as fate would have it, I had the flu and could not go…… What a match to miss. Definitely my worst ever event experience. Still have the ticket though.”

And the winner:

Robert: “My worst Irish event experience was the time I en[Comment Incomplete Due to Dropped Wifi Coverage At Technology Event. Systems Report: More Than Two People Using Wifi Simultaneously].”

Thanks all.

Previously: Do You Want A €100 Music Voucher

Event Brite

Event Brite are hosting Brite Space – a series of 21 free events at 42 Dawson Street, Dublin THIS week. “where event and communication tastemakers will enlighten, excite and motivate you to start organising your next great event”

Twenty one.

FREE events.

Donations from attendees will be in aid of the Simon Community.

Event Brite present Brite Space Dublin

To celebrate Event Brite have given us a €100 music voucher [for Tower Records] to literally giveaway.

To enter, simply complete this sentence.

‘My worst Irish event experience was___________________________________’

Lines MUST close 1pm 2.45pm 4.45pm

Event Brite

Where were you?

The 1980s: Ireland in Pictures (written by and photographed by Lensmen Photographic Archives) is a collection of images that captures a time of austerity, emigration and Bono-lecturing.

The people at Lensman have given us FIVE copies to giveaway to a Broadsheet reading political fanboy/girl.

Can you NAME the members of the newly-elected Fine Gael/Labour coalition cabinet pictured in June 1981 (above).

Lines MUST close at 5.45pm

The 1980s: Ireland in Pictures (O’Brien Press)

Thanks Geraldine Feehily