Phil Blakemore (above) was caught on CCTV pooing into a golf hole at a children’s pitch and putt course and jailed for six months
Young Philip from Pwlleli Town
Gave magistrates reason to frown
After having some drink
He decided to sink
In the wrong place, now he’s going down.
John Moynes
Pics: Twitter
Ukriane-based Russian journalist Arkady Babchenko, who had been reported shot and killed on Tuesday, showed up yesterday at a news conference alive
A journalist yesterday said
Ukraine lied when they claimed he was dead
He did not tell his wife
So don’t bet your life
He’ll return to the marital bed
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
A rickshaw can be a delight
When you’re making a journey at night
But Minister Ross
(He’s our transport boss)
Says he might just give them the red light
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Some 95% of what is produced from backlit devices is heat and only 5% is light
I think that it’s time that you knew
Of the danger of light when it’s blue
Can it really keep
You from getting your sleep?
It might, if these rumours are true
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Kilauea Volcano continues its eruption cycle yesterday near Pahoa on the island of Kilauea, Hawaii
In Hawaii a large lava flow
Has recently started to go
Towards a power station
And cause consternation.
There were landslides this weekend you know
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Jordan Peterson believes violent men can be cured by the love of a good woman
A boffin who lies on the right
Has had a delightful insight:
Assign women to men
To sleep with, and then
All violence will end overnight
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Cora Sherlock (right) outside the Dáil last month calling on the Minister for Health, Simon Harris to ‘honour his commitment’ to debate his abortion plans with the LoveBoth campaign. Ms Sherlock was a no show last night for an RTÉ debate with Mr Harris.
It wasn’t to be Cora’s fate
To star in a TV debate
When those on her team
Switched horses mid stream
But made the decision too late
John Moynes
Rollingnews
The asteroid 2015 BZ509 (circled in yellow) shares Jupiter’s orbit yet orbits backward
One asteroid, a favourite of mine
That’s known as BZ509
Has gained my affection
With its odd direction
It sticks to its own lonely line
John Moynes
Pic Large Binocular Telescope Observatory (LBTO)
Is the Chinese food additive monosodium glutamate (MSG) good for you?
One thing that I quite like to see
Is Chinese food served for my tea
But the treats on the plate
Can cause a debate
If the chef uses some MSG
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
Eamon Dunphy (right) was left mid-interview by pro-life advocate John Waters
It’s clear that we’re having a week
Where people have strong words to speak
But what else can one do
Except turn the air blue
When the whole country’s lost up shit creek?
John Moynes
Pics: RTE/Rollingnews
