UK PM Boris Johnson is physically well and has a full grasp on the prime ministership, Downing Street has said
A spokesman has felt he should tell
You the PM has not been unwell
And he’s certainly not
Entirely lost the plot
So please don’t ring the alarm bell
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The LÉ William Butler Yeats didn’t go on sea patrol yesterday because it was short a technical specialist
Our forces who serve us at sea
Are currently reckoned to be
Missing so much staff
That it isn’t a laugh
And needs to be fixed rapidly
Australian telly presenter Matt Doran (right) has refuted claims pop star Adele (left) stormed out of an interview
A TV presenter called Matt
Has been forced to tell viewers that
When he met Adele
It didn’t go well
And now he can’t broadcast their chat
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Because this is World Toilet Day
There’s something that I need to say
The folks at Irish Water
All feel that you ought to
Be careful what you flush away
A new injectable HIV treatment could replace daily pills
At long last there now seems to be
A new way to treat HIV
So a pill every day
Is no longer the way
Now that’s surely a good thing to see
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Chef Marco Pierre White is championing 3D-printed steaks
So now 3D printers can make
A reasonable clone of a steak
Would you think it’s fine
To go out and dine
On a high tech new fangled fake?
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Several outbreaks of severe bird flu in Europe and Asia have been reported in recent days to the World Organisation for Animal Health
If you’ve been hoping for a new
Pandemic well here’s a bird flu
That’s spreading about
So do please watch out
Or else it might just infect you
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A majority of taxpayers would support the abolition of the self-assessed tax system for the self-employed
With tax there are those who confess
That they don’t know how to self assess
So some people say
That an easier way
Would help. Or would it cause more mess?
Alamy
China’s President Xi Jinping, has amassed more personal authority than any leader since Chairman Mao
In China the rulers agree
That their leader, the great Chairman Xi
Is considered now
As the equal of Mao
Which I think is a good thing to see
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Seaweed supplements could significantly reduce cow farts, a new study claims
Some boffins have said they will feed
A large pile of Irish seaweed
To some lucky cow
Because face it, right now
More methane is not what we need
