The archbishop didn’t quite say
That he’s worried Maynooth’s a bit gay
Just that things were quite strange
So instead he’d arrange
For his students to go far away.
John Moynes
Montage: Metro.co.uk
Tag Archives: John Moynes
It’s time to stand up and proclaim
That this news drapes our nation in shame
We all need a laugh
But the newspaper staff
Are refusing to give us his name.
John Moynes
Hillary Clinton at the US Democratic Party’s National Convention last night
So Hillary now takes her turn
To speak to the people who yearn
For competent rule
But more than one fool
Insisted on chanting for Bern.
John Moynes
The California Reaper, world’s hottest chili, now available in Ireland
If you’re going to barbecue meat
And you’re planning to ramp up the heat
Be warned that the Reaper
Might make you a weeper
This chili just cannot be beat.
John Moynes
Pic: Crazy Hot Seeds
Some people in north eastern Spain
Have said they don’t want to remain
They just can’t go on
Being ruled by King Juan
Will Madrid’s power now start to wane?
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
A new scientific report
Will make all our patriots snort
In the shadow too much
Of the towering Dutch
Once more the Irish come up short.
John Moynes
Graph: Women’s Health
If you have a troublesome wife
Who causes you heartbreak and strife
You may have to wait
For your big court date
Irish marriage has a long half life.
John Moynes
Graph via Irish Times
Donald Trump closes the republican National Congress in Cleveland, Ohio last night
The candidate said he’d restore
Security, jobs and much more
All good things must end
As we must attend
America, baptised in gore.
John Moynes
Pic: Alex Wong/Getty
Ted Cruz at the Republican National Congress in Cleveland, Ohio last night
A bitter old also-ran, Ted
Let a rush of blood go to this head
He got a loud boo
From more than a few
When he left his endorsement unsaid.
John Moynes
Pic: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
Seanad Éireann chamber
The Senate’s important you know
So they talked about Pokémon Go
Which they think is a great
Way for teens to lose weight
They’ve endorsed it with heartfelt gusto.
John Moynes