North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un has gained 38 kilograms since taking power in 2012.

Some comrades have noticed of late
That our leader is putting on weight
We’re forced to conclude
That there’s plenty of food
In that fertile and bountiful state.

John Moynes

Pics: AP/Getty

The City of London

What happens to Britain’s big banks
If they exit? Well let’s ask the yanks
We won’t get as much
As the mercantile Dutch
We’ll get something, for which we’ll give thanks.

John Moynes

Pic: Bigstock

Conservative MP Michael Gove will challenge for the Tory leadership

At last, not a moment too late
A hero steps up to the plate
Against Boris and May,
And a man who cures gay
That country’s one hell of a state.

John Moynes

Pic: Reuters

Update:

Boris Johnson rules himself out of Conservative leader race (BBC)

UK Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn

The comrades have voted to plead
For someone in charge who can lead
JC doesn’t care
He’s still blaming Blair
And insists that he will not concede.

John Moynes

Pic via The New Republic

The Dalai Lama and Lady Gaga

We simple folk must be impressed
When a sage from the east meets the west
To discuss the world’s soul
But it is, on the whole,
Something Beijing finds hard to digest.

John Moynes

Pic: Kevin Mazur

President Higgins (right) with Boris Johnson in London, 2014

Already they’re starting to spin
Away from an unwanted win
Do they want the UK
To make its own way?
The chances are looking quite thin.

John Moynes

Pic: Chris Bellew

A pig fucking arsehole called Dave
Had a cunning and flawless brain wave
He called for a vote
That hit the wrong note
And dragged the UK to its grave.

John Moynes

Pic Rollingnews via Sky News

We’ve all seen the pitiful sight
That follows a long wine-fueled night
But soon some nerds will
Make a magical pill
To help you feel slightly less shite.

John Moynes

Illustration by Eoin Whelehan

UK prime Minister David Cameron (left) and David Beckham

Now football is Dave’s favourite game
And he says it would be such a shame
If the Brits scratch their itch
To flee from the pitch
‘Cause he knows that he’ll take all the blame.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty