Universities do not exist ‘to produce students who are useful’, President Michael D Higgins says
A system of good education
Is a must for a strong healthy nation
It’s not there just to feed
Some industry’s greed
That would not be Mick D’s aspiration
John Moynes
South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg has suspended his campaign to become the 2020 US Democrat Presidential candidate
That plucky young upstart Mayor Pete
Has decided to sound the retreat
He took a brave stand
That was centrist and bland
So it’s not a surprise he got beat
John Moynes
Getty
A report into the mandatory use of iPads in a County Meath school has found that students are frequently distracted by the devices
The new educational fad
Of giving each child an iPad
Can lead to distraction
And thus the reaction
From boffins who say that it’s bad
John Moynes
Pic: Alamy
Marmite is no longer just a toast topping with leading chefs adding it to everything from scallops to pasta
When I’m sitting down for a feast
I want no trace of extract of yeast
So this new Marmite fad
Is making me sad
And I won’t eat out until it’s ceased
John Moynes
Pic: Wikipedia
The Arctic global seed vault has reached 1m varieties stored in its deep freeze.
The boffins are widely agreed
That protecting the Earth’s stock of seed
Would be very nice
So up in the ice
They’ve buried a huge pile indeed
John Moynes
Jim Richardson/NG/Alamy
Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin and Fine Gael leader Leo Varadkar during the final TV leaders’ debate at the RTE studios in Donnybrook, Dublin. 4 on February 4, 2020
The voters returned a dead heat
So Martin and Leo will meet
For a sham of a talk
Before they both walk
Away from a cabinet seat
John Moynes
Niall Carson/RollingNews/Pool
A drug dealer has lost the codes to €53.6 million of the cryptocurrency bitcoin, say the Criminal Assets Bureau
It’s been ruled that the country is owed
A large fortune, but sadly the code
To access the cash
Which was earned growing hash
Disappeared sometime back down the road
John Moynes
Bono attends to Johnny Sexton during a visit to the Ireland rugby team camp
It’s every top sports player’s fate
To have Bono serve you a plate
And then hear him speak
For the guts of a week
About how being Irish is great
John Moynes
Pic: Twitter/U2
The Utah state senate voted unanimously yesterday to effectively decriminalise marrying multiple spouses
In Utah they’re suffering strife
As in that state polygamy’s rife
But now a new rule
Says it’s pretty much cool
For a chap to take more than one wife
John Moynes
Pic: AP
