Taoiseach Leo Varadkar addresses the nation last night
In news that is bound to appall
We’re now in this for the long haul
But the time will come when
We can go out again
And there’ll be drinks and hugs for us all
John Moynes
Last night: ‘This Is The Calm Before The Storm‘
The National Convention Centre, Dublin yesterday.
We’re settling in for week one
Of an extended absence of fun
So stare at the walls
Or grope your own balls
There’s nothing else now to be done
John Moynes
French chef and restaurateur Michel Roux OBE has died aged 78
Au revoir to Monsieur Michel Roux
Who taught British chefs what to do
He stood up to the plate
And was ready to grate
Cheese over heart warming stew.
John Moynes
Getty
Manufacturers of phones, tablets and laptops will face legal obligations to make their products easier to repair and reuse under new EU regulations
Tech companies don’t really care
That your laptop is beyond repair
They all know the score
You’ll just have to buy more
But Europe now says that’s not fair
John Moynes
Allstock
A third of people in the UK believe Britain’s colonies were better off for being part of an empire
A survey was held to inquire
What people now think of empire
In our neighbouring state
One third think it’s great
That it’s something we all should admire
John Moynes
Corbis
Led Zeppelin have won a long-running court case accusing them of stealing their song Stairway to Heaven.
Stairway’s royalties glisten like gold
So at the band’s team have been told
The courtroom is sure
Their intentions were pure
And nothing that they did was bold
John Moynes
Getty
Traders on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange
When the chaps at the stock markets hear
That the whole world is gripped by the fear
They panic like hell
And all try to sell
And billions can soon disappear
John Moynes
Reuters
Meanwhile…
European oil stocks tumble the most on record, dragged down by heavyweights including Royal Dutch Shell, BP and Total https://t.co/iZbVZvzePK
— Bloomberg (@business) March 9, 2020
US Democrat Presidential hopeful Elizabeth Warren has abandoned her bid for The White House
It’s that bit in the primaries when
A candidate drops out again
But the thing about Liz
And her absence is
We’re getting four more years of men
John Moynes
AP
Hong Kong pets face quarantine after a dog tested positive for the coronavirus
The virus that’s going around
Was recently, by doctors, found
On a family pet
So maybe don’t get
Too close to a big friendly hound
John Moynes
AFP
Shelves for toilet rolls at a store in Sydney, Australia followingpanic buying over the coronavirus outbreak.
Some Aussies don’t know what to do
When they’re finished their job on the loo
For when rumours fly
Other folk panic buy
So much bog roll there’s none left for you
John Moynes
Pic” Twitter
