A horn-like growth apparently caused by the habitual bent-neck posture of frequent mobile device user
It’s time for young people to scorn
Their smartphones as Oz boffins warn
That when used to excess
They cause ligament stress
That’s likely to give you the horn
John Moynes
Pic: Scientific Reports
North Korea’s Kim Jong-un (left) and China’s Xi Jinping met in Beijing last January
I know you’ve been waiting to see
A summit between Kim and Xi
And if we could each
Hear the wisdom they teach
Oh what a great world this could be
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
UK Tory party leadership candidates, from left: Boris Johnson, Jeremy Hunt, Michael Gove, Sajid Javid and Rory Stewart take part in a BBC television debate last night
Five candidates made their appeal
To try to get Tories to feel
That soon, if and when
They move to Number 10
They’re best placed to get a no deal
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
Pope Francis will ask bishops to consider ordaining married men as priests in South America
For centuries men have been told
If they’re wearing a ring made of gold
They can’t be a priest
Or rather, at least
Until they’re sufficiently old
John Moynes
The effects of a smile may be better than sex, researchers claim
The etiquette of having sex
Can sometimes be rather complex
So don’t live in sin
Just wear a big grin
You may find it has the same effects
John Moynes
Pic: OrthodonticsLtd
Minister Shane Ross (left) defied spending officials by pushing through €5m to an airport that hasn’t had a commercial flight in three years in the Waterford constituency of Independent Alliance colleague John Halligan (right)
I wonder can Shane Ross explain
Why an airport that’s not seen a plane
Needs a large wedge of cash
As this seems rather rash
And it’s hard to describe it as sane
John Moynes
Endurance athlete Nick Griffiths sent two of his toes lost to frostbite to be used in a Canadian cocktail
When your doctors say that your toe
Is past saving and will have to go
There’s no need to fret
As your digit might get
A new home in a drink in the snow
John Moynes
Pic: Twitter/Nick Griffiths
Scientists say central American convict cichlids (above) become glum when they split up.
A young female cichlid, well she
Will display optimism and glee
Until her favourite mate
Turns her down for a date
Then there’s plenty more fish in the sea
John Moynes
Pic: EPA
Professor Adrian Cheok (right), who advocates sex for with robots, has been awarded awarded a birthday honour from the UK’s Queen Elizabeth
A boffin who thinks a sex bot
Is useful, convenient and hot
And supports the far right
Would be far out of sight
From honours. It seems he is not
John Moynes
Pics: Shutterstock/twitter
A tree – a gift from French President Emmanuel Macron to US President Donald Trump at the White House in 2018 – has reportedly died
While we all thought it lovely to see
Trump and Macron plant a tree
In a week, at the most
The oak gave up the ghost
And died in the land of the free
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
