Gemma O’Doherty failed to secure a nomination to contest the Presidency of Ireland
If you ask for votes some people choose
To consider it and then refuse
So it’s best to keep calm
Don’t throw toys from the pram
It’s not fascism just ’cause you lose
John Moynes
US president Donald Trump drew laughter during an address to the United Nations assembly in New York yesterday
The world’s biggest bullshit emitter
Is more than a little bit bitter
He decided to reach
Out with a big speech
And all he got back was a titter.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
‘Weetabix’ labels In a New Zealand shop must be covered up to protect local cereal brand ‘Weet-Bix’
A breakfast of dry compressed wheat
Doesn’t strike me as much of a treat
But in one hemisphere
The courts interfere
To let big corporations compete
John Moynes
A plan to build 3,500 social homes has delivered fifteen. From left: Minister for Housing Eoghan Murphy, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe
The best of the Fine Gael team
Came up with a new housing scheme
I’m sure that they mean
To build more than fifteen
But for now it’s still just a pipe dream
John Moynes
Minister for Transport Shane Ross reportedly said he has nothing to do with the Bus Connects plan and no responsibility for the National Transport Authority
Dublin’s new bus transport plan
Isn’t something the minister can
Bring himself to endorse
Did he read it? Of course
Not. He gave it a cursory scan
John Moynes
EU leaders dine last night ahead of a Brexit summit in Salzburg, Austria this morning
Cutting a country in two
Is never a nice thing to do
But I must admit it’s
Quite a stretch for the Brits
To claim they also think this is true
John Moynes
Pic: SkyNews
Actress Stormy Daniels has written a tell-all book about her alleged affair with US President Donald Trump
Some things are repulsive, and so
If you’re telling a story then know
If the shape of his part
Is Toad from Mario Kart
Then that’s a place you shouldn’t go
John Moynes
Minister for Justice and Equality Charlie Flanagan (left) with Garda Commissioner Drew Harris at the Garda College, Templemore last month
Before long you’d have to be thick
If you’re tempted to take a quick pick
Of a Garda at work
For due to a quirk
Of our laws you’ll end up in the nick
John Moynes
Deliveroo offers alcohol as part of its online menu
There are worries that some youngster choose
To make a phone call to buy booze
We’re not sure how many
Or even if any
But somehow this still counts as news.
John Moynes
Volkswagen will stop making its Beetle car next year
It’s bad news for people who are
Fans of a small German car
Like the hippies who dug
That crazy Love Bug,
The rear-engine-drive movie star
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
