Sean Gallagher (left) with Michael D Higgins at the Presidential election count in Dublin Castle, October 11, 2011
It still seems a little unclear
Why you’d run for the Áras this year
Unless starved for attention
Or seeking a pension
As Higgins has little to fear
John Moynes
Gavin Duffy says he has re-mortgaged his home to raise up to €750,000 for a Presidential run
When making a bid for the throne
You don’t want to use funds of your own
So go to the bank
And be perfectly frank
And they’re certain to give you a loan.
John Moynes
Tanaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs and Trade Simon Coveney introduces his three daughters to Pope Francis at Dublin Airport on Saturday
When asked if she would greet the Pope
Simon’s young daughter said “nope”
And a bribe of a cat
Was the only thing that
Could persuade the wee Coveney to cope
John Moynes
US president Donald Trump with National Enquirer publisher David Pecker
David Pecker, once Trump’s stalwart friend
Under pressure has started to bend
Now he’ll tell a tale
To stay out of jail
For it seems every bromance must end
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Britain’s Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab (left) with EU’s chief negotiator Michel Barnier
The Tories are starting to feel
That Brexit will shortly be real
But their homework’s not done
So a deal won’t be won
And the future just doesn’t appeal.
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
The number of pubs in the Republic of Ireland has fallen by 1,477 since 2005
It’s sad that we’ve fallen so far
But let’s face it, we are where we are
Let’s share this one goal
To save Ireland’s soul
And as patriots march to the bar
John Moynes
US First Lady Melania Trump speaks during a cyberbullying prevention summit yesterday
The First Lady says rudeness online
Is something that’s never benign
But her husband Don
Just keeps tweeting on
About Brennan, and reckons it’s fine
John Moynes
Pic: AFP/Getty
Limerick hurlers celebrate their first All-Ireland win since 1973 at Croke Park yesterday
Ah, Limerick at long last you’ve got
Back again to the number one spot
But now that that’s said
It can’t go to your head
You may think you’re all that, but you’re not.
John Moynes
Pic: RTÉ
US President Donald Trump’s proposed military parade could cost $92m
The boys at the Pentagon say
That there’s going to be a delay
Before Trump’s parade
As they were dismayed
At the huge price they will have to pay
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
Londoner Tereza Burki is suing an elite dating service for £12,000 after she failed to meet anybody
Each singleton hopes it’s their fate
To meet someone nice on a date
But Seventy Thirty
Lacked enough flirty
Chaps, though they charge a high rate
John Moynes
Pic via Facebook
