Tag Archives: molly twomey

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar

Leo, You’re Right.

I’m not worth 350 a week,
how did I end up in a call centre
with scholarships and university degrees.

My friends are the same,
work in pubs, cafés, one has a PhD
and he holds the door open at BTs.

I’ve a few bob in the Credit Union
if you need a lend, I’m only paying rent.
Given up insurance, mortgage, having kids.

Listen, if you’re looking for someone
to write your next speech, I’ll do it for free,
us artists love that kind of thing.

Molly Twomey

Rollingnews

Previously: Eamonn Kelly: Free Money Walks, Bullshit Talks

Coats left for the needy last week  on Ha’penny Bridge, Dublin and later removed by Dublin City Council for causing ‘congestion’

Zip It

We ask you to kindly halt
leaving your parkas and jackets
to warm the homeless

for we cannot have tourists
distracted from their whiskey
lattes and Aran jumpers.

They’ll stop taking selfies,
we’ll have nothing left
to post on Lovin’ Dublin.

We have given your coats
to Oxfam for students
to buy, resell, repay their loans.

Your woollen hats and mittens
are a real congestion issue.
People are bumping

into each other like scabies
on a child’s elbow.
If they really want a home,

they’d apply for the HAP
scheme on their iPhones.
Look, we can’t build more shelters

or estates, we just gave 23 million
to a rafting course; kayaking,
water polo. We don’t mind

stags and hens pissing
down Camden’s Place, snorting
coke off Molly Malone’s tits.

At least they’re not setting up
tents like whack-a-moles
outside the church,

making it hard to stomach
our tuna melts. Feeling guilt
when we tuck in

the bathed skin of our children
under plastic moons
and glow in the dark stars.

Molly Twomey

Previously: I’ll Get Your Coat