Monthly Archives: November 2010

By 2030, according to leading chocolatiers, a Cadbury’s Creme egg could cost as much as 20 Benson and Hedges. And  20 Benson and Hedges could cost the same as a flat in the Docklands.

We made that last fact up. Seriously though, the world is running out of chocolate.

In the future, chocoholics might have to work quite a bit harder to pay for their fix. The world could run out of affordable chocolate within 20 years as farmers abandon their crops in the global cocoa basket of West Africa, industry experts claim.

“Galaxy, Creme Eggs, every kind of £1 chocolate bar will be a thing of the past,” warns London chocolatier Marc Demarquette, who believes a bar at £7, or its future equivalent, will be more like it.

Chocolate: worth its weight in gold (Independent)

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage..
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now………

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A dealership in Florida is offering used truck buyers a free AK-47 assault rile:

General sales manager Nick Ginetta says that since the promotion was announced on Veterans Day, business has more than doubled at Nations Trucks in Sanford.

Customers would have to pass a background check before using the $400 gun shop voucher. They also have the option of using the money toward other firearms, or they can request a check in that amount instead.

The dealership has fielded some complaints about the deal, which Ginetta acknowledges is controversial. But, he adds: “My buyer is absolutely a gun owner, no question.”

They sell monster trucks, too. The very thing to be driving around in. With your AK-47.

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