Brian Hayes, junior minister for public sector reform, gave a speech to the IPA conference, entitled ‘Good Governance – setting the tone from the top’ this morning.

Pick a mixed metaphor; comes with free cliches.

a) Hayes believes the Irish people are “shell shocked” by the “economic tsunami”

b) However, he urged us to come out from under the “comfort blanket of victimhood” and stop blaming others for our problems.

c) “Rejecting European support, retreating to a bunker, sovereign default, abandoning the euro, are just pages from the North Korean textbook of economics,” he said. “The only realistic option is the Munster rugby option – stand up and fight.”

d) We must “fight our corner” because the government is on “the long road” to recovery.

e) We will not be “bullied or intimidated” on “the international stage”.

f) “We won’t play poker, we won’t bluff, but we will play to win.”

g) “The sunlight of public scrutiny is a strong prophylactic against public waste.”

So we’re the Munster rugby team, and we’re boxing, on a road, a road that’s also a stage, while simultaneously playing something that isn’t poker. Fortunately the sun is shining and we’re wearing a condom on our head.

(Photocall Ireland)

Go On.

You know you want to. Click here

Hard not to be transfixed by the story of Comeragh House, near the village of Lemybrien, in “unspoilt Co Waterford countryside between Carrick-on-Suir and Dungarvan”.

Seeing as it includes

1) How hard it was to get Champagne in Ireland

2) A creepy right wing past.

3) Opulent furnishings.

4) Michael Noonan

4) A groundsman that calls calls his boss madam

But there the similarities with the Irish Times ends.

True Brits Sell Nazi’s Former Home In Waterford (Irish Times)

By Dominic Hyde

Who among us has not spoken of our wish to commit the deed that dare not speak its name? I’m talking about rape.

If a man, in the privacy of his own study, cannot turn to his wife and say: “I shall be raping you later” you might as well lock me up and throw away the key.

My wife knows she will be occasionally taken by force in her chamber.

That’s what men do. We have raping since before women came along, and we shall be raping long after they are gone.

In the minor public school I attended it was an honour to be raped. It was a sign that you were obliging to the older, stronger boys.

Oh yes, I can hear all the strident women going  ‘he’s condoning rape’. Nothing could be further (Cont. p75)