Throw your hands up and shout out Hooray,
For it’s National Poetry Day,
So don’t be a prick,
About this limerick,
But find something pleasant to say.

John Moynes

(Poetry Ireland)

A TCD Science Gallery exhibit on consumption

A boffin has said he thinks that,
The Irish are getting too fat,
So don’t be unwise,
Just put down those pies,
At least till your belly is flat.

John Moynes

(Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland)

Archbishop Eamon Martin (right) and Bishop of Limerick Brendan Leahy

The Church say that if their side lose,
On equality they might refuse,
To join man and wife,
In wedlock for life,
It sounds like they have blown a fuse.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

Richard Bruton at government buildings yesterday

Enterprise minister Dick,
Fell foul of an underhand trick,
A blue shirted claque,
Stabbed him in the back,
And left the poor chap feeling sick.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

That hapless chap Ed Milliband,
Has reached out to young voters and,
Appeared on the net,
To show that he met,
The curly haired idiot Brand.

John Moynes

(Trews)

The sight of the new selfie arm,
Is certain to cause some alarm,
It looks rather sad,
And just a bit mad,
But I doubt it will do any harm.

John Moynes

(PetaPixel)

Donegal Day in the Hole in the Wall pub, Galway in February

Are you sure just how much you drink?
It might well be more than you think,
If you’re on the fringe,
Of having a binge,
Cut down. Keep your health in the pink.

John Moynes

Minister for Public Expenditure Brendan Howlin and Minister for Finance Michael Noonan

The government’s built up a stash,
Of hardworking taxpayers’ cash,
Next they’ll take a small axe,
To the top rate of tax,
In a vote-grabbing October splash.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)