Category Archives: Comics

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOuCjzVAO_w

Crazy Old Bat Rule #17: Dispose of any cats which happen to cross your path.

Don’t worry folks, the cat’s fine and the Daily Mail is on the case.

So Who Is The Middle-Aged Woman Who Stopped To Stroke The Cat Before Cruelly Dumping Kitty In The Litter? (Mail Online)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNBsg43cdTc

Outside the home of the Lakers: an eloquent and philisophical yearning in the Greek-style.

Meanwhile in Kildare, something a little less complicated…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzsiU6OkkQs

(GAA version uploaded sideways to YouTube – apologies).

Some outtakes from Daithi’s debut last night, recorded on Karl’s old cassette player. Includes stuff we made up.

10. “Lynda’s a Garda. She’s promised to get me off any time I want, right Lynda?”

9. “….Katie, all the way from New York! Hope you weren’t there during the 7/11.”

8. “And I hear you’re training for a triathlon, Aisling? really? With those knockers?”

7. “…and your fiancee Frankie’s in the crowd. His turn to be a high-class escort, hah?”

6. “Not too close to the microphone there, Colleen. It’s been in my pocket.”

5. “Here Lynette. Hold this ‘balloon'”.

4. “And you’re going to do a bit of dancing, Tara. Great, I’ll hold your shoes and pants.”

3. “Wait until you see my dome.”

2. “Your mother’s in the audience – she was a Rose too. Before the Famine, was it?”

1. “And you’ve brought your harp? Mighty. I’ve me flute here.”

Daithi’s Line Of Patter Pulls In The Punters (Rosin Ingle, Irish Times)

From the Scotsman:

1. Sara Pascoe: “Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.”

2. Sean Hughes (above): “You know city-centre beat officers… Well are they police who rap?”

3. Gyles Brandreth: “I’ve got nothing against lesbians. I mean, that’s the point isn’t it?”

4. Doc Brown: “I was born into the music industry. My dad worked in Our Price.”

5. John Luke Roberts: “I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge.”

6. Sarah Millican: “I bought a cross-trainer to keep fit. I suppose that it’s not enough to just buy it.”

7. Bec Hill: “Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn’t have the energy to climb up the stairs.”

8. Dan Antopolski: “How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.”

9. Andi Osho: “Floella Benjamin is in the House of Lords. How did she get in, through the round window?”

9. Gareth Richards: “My mother is always taking photographs of me – she said if you disappear tomorrow I want you to look good on the news.”

10. Emo Philips: “I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it’s hard to find 32 of them.”

Westlife played an “intimate show” to 1,000 loyal punters (including Louis Walsh) in the newly-refurbished O2 on Friday night.

We were there! (actually it was our niece).

The entire show lasted 45 minutes.

45 minutes from the Westlifers comprises:

00:00 – 00:05 House band attempts to quell applause
00:05 – 00:10 House band praises the venue and their good friend Harry Crosbie.
00:10 – 00:15 House band praises Louis, taking time out from X Factor
00:15 – 00:18 House band waits for X Factor-related applause to abate
00:18 – 00:20 Mark from house band tearfully praises God
00:20 – 00:25 Song #1: Random self-penned gusset-moistener (Flying without wings)
00:25 – 00:28 Three minutes pause to allow for sufficient hankies and crotch-mops
00:28 – 00:33 Song #2: Clammy slab of dehydrated seventies gastric spew (Oh Mandy)
00:33 – 00:35 Praise for the solitary loser towards the back who loudly loved Manilow.
00:35 – 00:40 Song #3: Final attempt to validate the hat-trick by blarting another home-produced monster (“When you’re looking like that”)
00:40 – 00:45 Riot suppression

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9crnz6vQg

For a series that’s been off the air for nine frickin’ years, Channel 4’s Adam and Joe Show not only continues to bring the lol, but slams a car door repeatedly on its fuzzy little head.

Here, Mark Cousin’s tortoise critiques Guy Richtoy’s Twat.