The staff of our own Daily Star,
Are at risk from a dirty old tsar,
Who throws hissy fits,
At the sight of posh tits,
And this time he’s going too far.

John Moynes

That skinny new royal wife Kate,
Makes paparazzi salivate,
She stripped down to her pants,
In a big house in France,
And made all of her in-laws irate.

John Moynes

This mystery film-maker Sam,
Really does not give a damn.
He’s no film connoisseur,
He’s just trying to stir,
Up the people who do not eat ham.

John Moynes

Unless you can do better.

Oh yes, it’s Thursday blasphemy ‘Rick off.

A final pair of tickets to the Secret Garden Beer Festival in Dundrum, Co Dublin, THIS WEEKEND to giveaway.

Lines close at 3pm

Yes, you could be here:

Update:

The winner

I suspect his real name’s “Im Becile” –
‘Cos it’s clear from his B-movie reel
That this “Sam” is a Schmo
For depicting ol’ Mo
As a whoremong’ring pedofile heel

Mouldyman

At Croke Park they gathered to pray,
On Hurling’s most magical day,
And on the last whistle,
They cheered and said “This’ll,
Earn a fortune for the GAA!”

John Moynes

Pic: Official Gaa/Inpho

This talented councillor Dwyer,
Has raised up the bar even higher,
For poltical stunts,
And those Fianna Fáil runts,
Cannot see why the chap should retire.

John Moynes

This silver haired, southern Apollo,
Is always a hard act to follow,
When he shoots from the hip,
A statistical quip,
It can be somewhat tricky to swallow.

John Moynes

Unless you can do better.

Oh yes, it’s a Thursday Clinton ‘rick off.

The prize?

Remember the free beer thing?

Due to popular demand. We have Two MORE free tickets to the Secret Garden Beer festival on September 15 in Dundrum Town Centre, Co Dublin, sponsored by Deveney’s Off Licence to giveaway.

Top two Limericks get the tickets.

Lines close at 2.30pm

Our dear leader stood up and cried,
Out that silliness he can’t abide,
So three cheers for real news,
As the government screws,
The disabled they’re casting aside.

John Moynes

(Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland)

Aging can be quite a scare,
As you wither, start losing your hair,
Such a shame at your age,
To end up on a stage,
Arguing with an empty chair.

John Moynes

(PA)