Facebook will take on Tinder with new dating features
If your customers think that you’ve spied
On them and have something to hide
“Don’t worry,” says Mark,
(He’s a very bright spark)
“Just give them the chance of a ride.”
John Moynes
Pic: Facebook
A since-deleted tweet from Baron Kilcooney, former Ulster Unionist Party MP John Taylor
A half witted unionist lord
Likes to tweet racist bile when he’s bored
So old John Kilclooney
And his tired and puny
Brain farts should be simply ignored.
John Moynes
Amber Rudd, who has resigned as Britain’s Home Secretary
Let’s face it, we all think it’s good
That we’ll see no more of Amber Rudd
Could Prime Minister May
Depart the same way
Fingers crossed, ’cause she certainly should.
John Moynes
Pic: The Guardian
From left Donald Trump (United States president), Moon Jae-in (South Korea president) and Kim Jong-un (North Korea leader)
We’ve waited for the moment when
The two leaders shake hands and then
When Moon talks to Kim
Can he persuade him
To build a nation once again?
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
The heart of St Laurence O’Toole was stolen from Christ Church Cathedral in 2012
Was stealing this old body part
A bold act of Dadaist art?
Now after six years
There’ll be clapping and cheers
As St Laud’s Chapel gets back its heart
John Moynes
Pic: TheHistoryblog
We’d recognise that firm set of the jaw anywhere.
Pro-choice Limericks Laureate John Moynes (top) and comic Tara Flynn are featured in this occasionally patronising report (above) from Ireland on the Eighth Amendment by The Jim Jefferies Show.
Come for the glimpse of Moynes (0.60 sec).
Pop on the kettle during the lazy stereotyping throughout (leprechauns, hooch, etc).
Stay for the “casual abortions” (starts 5 mins).
Earlier: John Moynes: A Limerick A Day
Thanks Vanessa
Billionaire John Magnier (top) and his Amedeo Modigliani nude (above) valued at $150m
John Magnier, who’s known to be shrewd
Once purchased a well painted nude
Now it’s back up on sale
And he’ll have a whale
Of a time with the cash he’s accrued
John Moynes
Pics: Getty/RTÉ
Irish Water propose to pump 300 million litres of water daily from the River Shannon at Parteen Basin (above) to meet the future water demands of the Greater Dublin area
Irish Water have said that it’s best
That they build a big pipe to the west
It’s worth it, they think
To let Dublin drink
But the locals are far from impressed
John Moynes
Graph: Irish Water
How to talk to your kids about sex?
That’s a problem that’s bound to perplex
But don’t worry, it’s fine
They’ll just go online
And get sucked into porn’s dark vortex
John Moynes
Pic: The WP Wire
Anita Sethi (right) was told by BritaIn’s Prince Charles she didn’t look like she came from Manchester
Charles thinks that you shouldn’t be brown
If you come from Manchester town
Which is racist and sad
And just like his dad
The bigoted miserable clown
John Moynes
Pic via The Guardian
