Greyhound Clares Rocket receives the Doire Construction Champion Stakes Trophy
Some bright spark thought he’d line his pocket
By stealing a dog called Clares Rocket
To cut to the chase
He’s got egg on his face
And his name’s on a Circuit Court docket.
John Moynes
Pic: Riverside Kennels
Now start up your engines and go
Through Dublin exceedingly slow
They’ll be clamping down
On speed in this town
So the traffic like treacle can flow.
John Moynes
Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi announces his resignation last night
The Italian people said no,
They’re sticking with the status quo,
So the radical man
Who wrote the failed plan
Has tearfully said he must go.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
US President -Elect Donald Trump and ‘likely defence secretary’ retired Marine Corps Gen. James Mattis
When Trump met a soldier named Jim
He ended up appointing him
To create peace on earth
But for what it’s worth
I reckon his chances are slim.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The site where a replica of the Titanic will be built in Suining, Sichuan province, China.
The Chinese decided to float
The idea of rebuilding a boat
But this time they think
The Titanic won’t sink
As they’re keeping all oceans remote.
John Moynes
Pic via Getty
US President Obama honours Ellen DeGeneres With the Presidential Medal Of Freedom last week.
You know Ellen, who works on TV?
She got a day out in DC
But was left outside
As the staff denied
Her entry without some ID.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Elderly Japanese can swap their driving licences for a ramen set meal for 500 yen at the Sugakiya chain
When Japanese people retire
And let their driving license expire
A big tasty tub
Of discount price grub
Is just the thing that they require.
John Moynes
Pic: The Japan Times
Let’s all take a moment to think
Of our favourite celebrity, Twink
Work’s not going well
For poor old Adele
And her overdraft’s stretched to the brink.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Philip Lane, the Governor of the Central Bank, yesterday
The Central Bank say they deplore
The chance that house prices might soar
They already are
So they’re raising the bar
And waiting until they rise more.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
