In the same way whales sometimes beach themselves to end it all, we suspect the squid decided to do the same after seeing the first result in Google for tentacled.
Monthly Archives: August 2010
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcwWZDdKx-w
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPITHzdUUDk
That’s not right. That’s some class of witchcraft, right there.
Do you hate it when Google gets all cute? Shamrocks on Patrick’s day? A bit of snow in December? A dumb cupid on Valentine’s Day? This image will have greeted users of the creepy search engine this morning. It’s to celebrate the 71st anniversary of the Wizard of Oz. Hang on. Since when did we celebrate 71? What?! I mean. What?
So, why does Google do this? Knowing it annoys its reluctant users? To show the world it has a heart and not made of tin.
But Karl has seen behind the curtain and speaks of just a weird old guy pulling levers and prying into our lives. And they’re not yellow bricks. They’re gold. So ner.
Fight the power. Rastafari.
What does it take to get the heave-ho from the Holy See? Rape a Vatican Guard? Kick the pontiff Bishop Brennan-style? Cover up child abuse in your diocese? None of the above, apparently. Never mind. Try these bishopric-ending one-liners on for size:
10. “look Ben, I’m cool with the whole Adam and Eve thing, but the talking snake? C’mon. Fuck. Right. Off.”
9. “Hitler Youth, eh? Gas any jews?”
8. “No. You kiss my ring. And when I say ring I mean my asshole.”
7. “Allahu Akbar”
6. “You think Dan Brown was right about Jesus being a chick? He seems to really know his stuff.”
5. “Why don’t you kick off those Prada slippers and let me give you one of my famous foot massages. Don’t be shy.”
4. “I’ve just had my Thetans audited and, like, WOW. I want to jump up and down on this couch. Woah. Dianetics. Oh YES. Totally buzzed now.”
3. “If you’re so infallible, Ratz, why do you talk so much bullshit?”
2. “Your Eminence. I have had consensual sex with a person of legal age.”
1. “Couldn’t we follow Christ’s actual teachings? (long pause) Right. I’ll get my mitre.”
Pope Rejects Bishops Resignation After Child Abuse Report (The Guardian)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1qaLmfzW3I&feature=fvw
You knew I was going to talk about Scott Pilgrim at some stage, right? Geeky, comic-based and directed by the guy who did Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. It presses all the right buttons, but it may just be a tad smug for its own good. We’ll see.
Released in Ireland: August 25
The Met say:
A mixture of bright or sunny periods and scattered showers. Cloud will begin to build during the afternoon and some showers will develop. There will also be some good spells of sunshine breaking through the cloud. Between between 16 and 19 degrees, although it will be cooler along northern coasts.
But that’s what they always say.
We’re sorry. You don’t look like that strange sea creature. Not really.
We’re back at the crack of dawn tomorrow (9am). Latorz.
PS Justice for Baby Louise.
Madam,
A ‘serious of tests‘?
The ‘cause of his illness thought to be caused by…‘?
If this is what passes for journalism at the Newspaper of Record these days, I shall be cancelling my subscription and crossing the Liffey to Abbey Street. To buy a copy of Razzle.
Yours etc,
Chompsky
(Meta critic/dog)
400-odd posts in – because that is how we roll – literally a few of our many severals of commenters have expressed annoyance at the limited navigability of the Broadsheet archive.
‘I have heard the cat say ‘Long Johnson”, they typically bleat, ‘but am unfamiliar with TwitterGate, Puberty Ostrich and the Justice For Baby Louise Campaign’.
Rest assured, this will not stand.
In between trays of doughnuts and frequent belts of Diet Fanta from his specially adapted Diet Fanta-Hat™, webmaster Karl is on the mo’fo.
(In the meantime, just keep hitting ‘older posts’ at the bottom of the page to scroll backward though today’s mirthful stylings, and those of the last two weeks.)