Donal Fallon of the Come Here To Me blog with the head of Nelson at Pearse Street Library, Dublin 2

A fellow called Nelson once stood,
On a stick in a rough neighbourhood,
Then a noise in the night,
Made the poor chap take flight.
We’ve a needle instead, and that’s good.

John Moynes

Pic: Douglas O’Connor

Everyone’s favourite star, Twink,
Has recently started to shrink,
She achieved this weight loss,
(As if you give a toss),
By turning her back on the drink.

John Moynes

Pic: Tony Gavin/IrishIndependent

It seems, or at least we’ve been told,
That our rivers are flowing with gold,
It won’t make us rich,
As it’s one more thing which,
Will be given away and not sold.

John Moynes

Getty

A scientist called Donnelly,
Spoke of weather last night on TV,
So certain broadsheets,
Cut and pasted some tweets,
And that’s news. Or don’t you agree?

John Moynes

RTÉ

A judge in Wisconsin called Lynn,
Has ruled it a terrible sin,
If a sandwich is cut,
An inch less than a foot,
She’ll fine you and put it in the bin.

John Moynes

Subway

It’s not really much of a shock,
That the British have bought up Red Rock,
So now will we see,
The folks from TV3,
Flogging the rest of their stock?

John Moynes

(TV3)

On the morning when folks get to vote,
There’s an absence we must sadly note,
Can any poll matter,
That leaves out Sepp Blatter?
‘Twould give you a lump in your throat.

John Moynes

Guardian

A portrait by Jorg Koster, among a collection of red-haired subjects going on display at Cork Airport

A German called Koster has said,
That he’s partial to hair tinted red,
In the town that’s the real,
Capital he’s said he’ll,
Hang a picture of each ginger head.

John Moynes

Jorg Koster

Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump savours victory last night in Nevada

That handsome electoral ace,
Is storming ahead in the race,
And if some cheap clown,
Tries to talk Donald down,
He’ll punch the chump right in the face.

John Moynes

Press Association