Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary

The bean counters at Ryanair
Have just had a bit of a scare
It always feels galling
When profits are falling
So ignore them if they start to swear.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Social Democrat-turned-Fianna Fáil TD Stephen Donnelly (centre) with party leader Micheál Martin at Leinster House yesterday

A slap-headed deputy Steve
Did something his fans can’t believe
He claimed to be best
But when put to the test
He left all his voters to grieve.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Seb Dance (left), a Labour MEP for London, protests Nigel Farage’s address to the European Parliament yesterday

In Europe a chap called Seb Dance
Decided he would take his chance
To alert the news wire
About a large fire
That had started inside Nigel’s pants

John Moynes

Once again railway bosses have found
An excuse not to go underground
The proposed station’s grand
But they don’t own the land
A failing which seems quite profound

John Moynes

An Ohio policeman Doug Bline
Volunteered to do something quite fine
Let a terminally ill
Girl get a massive thrill
She tazed him and left on cloud nine.

John Moynes

Pic: AP

Donald Trump with the executive order banning citizens of seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the US for 90 days

The Donald treats the constitution
Like a hasty new year’s resolution
All men are made equal
Now has a sad sequel
Of savage and vile persecution.

John Moynes

Pic: UPI/BancrodtMedia

UPDATE:

Meanwhile…

This morning.

Spotted in a shop on Talbot Street, Dublin 1.

Previously: What The Heil?

Thanks Graeme Kelly

UPDATE: 

Meanwhile…

By Annie West

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO8RQ3VKoKo

A young Tory fellow name Carter
Now regrets that he started to barter
For a piece of tail
And went on to fail
To get even a glimpse of her garter.

John Moynes

The Gardaí have launched a program
To shut down a nuptial scam
In case, in some way
A couple’s big day
Turns out to be merely a sham.

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

US President Donald Trump (left) and North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un

Donald knew that on day one
He should copy the great Kim Jong-un
Patriotically say
This is a holiday
And there’s nothing new under the sun.

John Moynes

Pics: Getty

Former Minister for Health in the NI Executive Michelle O’Neill with President of Sinn Féin Gerry Adams, in the Mansion House, Dublin 2 for a debate on Irish unity yesterday

Now Gerry has hinted that he’ll
Anoint a new leader, O’Neill
She’s just the cailín
To work with Arlene
And thrash out a new Stormont deal.

John Moynes

Leah Farrell/Rollingnews