Dispensing with any restraint,
They’re making Teresa a saint,
And those casting a stone,
Should leave her alone,
She was perfect and free from all taint.

John Moynes

(BBC)

That woman, you know,Tara Flynn,
Has churned out some feminist spin,
Saying people in tights,
Deserve equal rights.
Don’t read it. Throw straight in the bin.

John Moynes

Pic Via @Tara Flynn 

Senator James Heffernan, of the Social Democrats

One evening in Temple Bar,
A Senator went for a jar,
And was found in a scene,
Where he shouldn’t have been,
Then got a lift in a cop car.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

McGregor asserts he’s quite tough,
And repeats this claim often enough,
But some muscly Yank,
Who calls himself Frank,
Has asked for a peek at his muff.

John Moynes

USA Today

Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin and Taoiseach Enda Kenny

The fellows in Fine Gael feel,
That it’s time to put backs to the wheel,
They won’t rule on their own,
So they’re lifting the phone,
And offering Martin a deal.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Donal Fallon of the Come Here To Me blog with the head of Nelson at Pearse Street Library, Dublin 2

A fellow called Nelson once stood,
On a stick in a rough neighbourhood,
Then a noise in the night,
Made the poor chap take flight.
We’ve a needle instead, and that’s good.

John Moynes

Pic: Douglas O’Connor

Everyone’s favourite star, Twink,
Has recently started to shrink,
She achieved this weight loss,
(As if you give a toss),
By turning her back on the drink.

John Moynes

Pic: Tony Gavin/IrishIndependent

It seems, or at least we’ve been told,
That our rivers are flowing with gold,
It won’t make us rich,
As it’s one more thing which,
Will be given away and not sold.

John Moynes

Getty

A scientist called Donnelly,
Spoke of weather last night on TV,
So certain broadsheets,
Cut and pasted some tweets,
And that’s news. Or don’t you agree?

John Moynes

RTÉ