We wake up this morning just two,
Hundred years after Blücher came through,
Though some bounders say,
He was late on the day,
He beat Boney up at Waterloo.

John Moynes

Napoleon by Jacques-Louis David

A man with great hair, Donald Trump,
Is greasing the old parish pump,
And telling bad jokes,
To unimpressed folks,
Who’ll tell him to go take a jump.

John Moynes

(AP/Richard Drew)

Is it too much to ask now that each,
Educator first learn what they teach?
Before meeting a class,
A teacher should pass,
An exam, and practise what they preach.

John Moynes

Justice Michael Hanna

A High Court judge says we should find,
A new way to save womankind,
For Mike Hanna feels,
We should outlaw high heels,
If the government’s that way inclined.

John Moynes

Archbishop Eamon Martin

There’s no need for people to fret,
Over Martin’s civil marriage threat,
Did you really think,
That the lads wouldn’t blink,
You’ll have your big day in church yet

John Moynes

(BBC)

That honest man John Delaney,
Has been speaking to every TD,
He can get on the phone,
About Blatter’s loan,
While avoiding the full committee.

John Moynes

(AP)

Tourists on the Punta Ballena strip in Magaluf, Majorca, Spain

The citizens of Magaluf,
Have decided that they’ve had enough,
Of being Gomorrah,
So starting tomorrah,
If you act out the cops will get rough.

John Moynes

(Guardian)

England Manager Roy Hodgson and players at Lansdowne Road Nua yesteraday

It’s too soon to say who’s to blame,
For yesterday’s tedious game,
A slow scoreless draw,
Was all the fans saw,
And Roy Hodgson thinks that’s a shame.

John Moynes

(BBC)

Thierry Henry (left) and Sepp Blatter

Supporters of soccer will say,
That sport teaches children fair play,
If the other side cheats,
You’re in for some treats,
Shut up and enjoy your pay day.

John Moynes

(Getty)