In Germany, a centuries-old rule forbids dancing on Good Friday

Today spare a thought for the Hun
Whose laws won’t allow any fun
If they take a chance
And go for a dance
They’re facing a life on the run.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Kim Jong-Un visits a rocket launching site in North Korea

Our hero is standing steadfast
As Imperialist gunboats sail past
What’s needed of course
Is a great show of force
So Saturday will be a blast.

John Moynes

Montage: Getty

Randy Work asked judge to take into account his ‘genius’ during divorce proceedings

A financier called Randy Work
Demanded in court, with a smirk
A far larger share
Than his ex wife thought fair
As his genius was owed a perk.

John Moynes

Pic: AP

North Korea has stepped up its nuclear programme under leader Kim Jong-un (centre)

Now try to hold on to your seat
Kim’s promised us all a big treat
And the people’s armed might
Will deliver the sight
Of America’s total defeat

John Moynes

Pic:: Reuters

The blessed folk who make our cheese
Are begging for help on their knees
As Brexit means Brits
Are buying less. It’s
The cause of a lot of unease.

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

Today’s UK Sun

The Brexiteers say with a grin
That to kneel down is surely a sin
But then act like whores
For all the Señors
And take the results on the chin.

John Moynes

Michael Healy Rae TD (left) and Danny Healy Rae TD

So some of our deputies think
That it’s okay to fill up with drink
And then go for a drive
You won’t just be alive
You’ll be happy and quite in the pink.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Members of the women’s national football team at a press conference in Liberty Hall yesterday

Some ladies are losing their poise
And making a shrill frightful noise
And letting it show
That none of them know
That soccer’s a game just for boys.

John Moynes

Pic: Inpho

Meanwhile…

Chief Executive of the FAI, John Delaney, has been elected to the UEFA executive committee at their Annual Congress in Helsinki #rtesport

— RTÉ Sport (@RTEsport) April 5, 2017

Good times.

The Church Of England has accused The National Trust and Cadbury of ‘airbrushing faith’.

This Easter is anyone brave
Enough to take a stand and save
Traditional sweets
Or are Our Lord’s treats
With Cadbury in the grave?

John Moynes

Pic; The National Trust

North Korea leader Kim Jong Un (left) and US President Donal Trump

Old Trump struck a menacing tone
When he said he’ll take Kim on alone
But he’ll cause no unease
Among the Chinese
As his penchant for bullshit’s well known.

John Moynes