Space travel triggers herpes in astronauts, a NASA study has claimed
When you’re floating far beyond our sky
You may pause to wonder just why
You now need to scratch
At your down below patch
It seems herpes will thrive if you fly
John Moynes
Pic: NASA
Gardai in Dublin will operate a ‘zero tolerance’ and confiscate alcohol in public places over the Bank holiday weekend
If you’re someone who thinks that it’s neat
To chug a swift beer on the street
The Gardaí may choose
To seize all your booze
And bring themselves home a nice treat
John Moynes
Pic: Dutch Gold/Facebook
UK Prime Minister Theresa May in the House of Commons yesterday as MPs voted to reject a no-deal Brexit.
The MPs now turn their attention
To whether they want an extension
Or have Brexit Day
With the deal made by May
Or stay paralysed in dissension
John Moynes
Pic: BBC
Chickens in a poultry farm in northeast France are suspected of killing a fox who tried to sneak into their coop.
It seems that the chickens in France
Will kill if you give them a chance
So now a poor fox
Will go home in a box
If only he’d known in advance
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
Get ready for four legged fun
As Cheltenham’s almost begun
And if you don’t get
A good tip you should bet
That this week no work’s getting done
John Moynes
Cover: Racing Post
Dog owners took to Westminster, London yesterday to hound UK Prime Minister Theresa May for a new Brexit referendum
Political fans should take note
That tomorrow the MPs will vote
One more time on May’s deal
But deep down I feel
They’ll give her no reason to gloat
John Moynes
Pic: Sky News
UK Attorney General Geoffrey Cox yesterday made a bawdy reference to his role in trying to make changes to the Northern Ireland backstop
Will the Brexit saga ever cease?
Will Britannia soon get her release?
We’re just waiting for Cox
To pull up his socks
And stop talking about his codpiece.
John Moynes
Pic: BBC
Socialist Party TD Paul Murphy suggests a Trotsky-like ‘united front’ against Sinn Féin’s “nationalist, pro-capitalist’ agenda in internal party documents
All clear thinking comrades agree
With the tactics of Leon Trotsky
And if battles are fought
Using critical thought
Then we’ll march to a left victory
John Moynes
Yesterday: Hard To Swallow
The skull of “The Crusader” (above) taken from a crypt in St. Michan’s church, Dublin
The guards have recovered the head
Of someone eight hundred years dead
Which was stolen last week
By a vandalous clique
Who should sleep on a hard Mountjoy bed
John Moynes
This afternoon.
Windy Arbour Luas stop
Rob Loughlin writes:
Revolut App advertising…. we’ve no Greggs, Piers not really relevant here and The Brit Awards for the hat trick…
Earlier: A Limerick A Day
