What you may need to know:

1. Because you demanded it… the pupils of St Bernadette’s and the madcap Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton) are back!

2. “Madcap” is never a good adjective.

3. “Comments are disabled for this video” is never a good sign.

4. Not sure if seeing Nativity! (2009) and Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger! (2012) are necessary for context, or if this can be enjoyed on its own merits.

5. Oh God… there’s a flashmob.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Jesus.

Release Date: November 14

(DelBoy is still trying to shift his Garth Brooks tickets. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. Andre Allen is a comedian trying to reinvent himself after a series of really bad big budget comedies. Chris Rock is the triple threat of writer, director and star.

2. After Grown Ups (2010), What to Expect When You’re Expecting (2012), Grown Ups 2 (2013) and a helluva lot of voiceover work, you’d wonder where Rock drew inspiration from.

3. The trailer doesn’t spell it out, but Rock and Rosario Dawson’s character will probably hook up at the end of the movie.

4. “Hammy the Bear” looks like something I’d probably watch.

5. This was shot last summer, before Tracy Morgan’s car crash. He’s still recovering.

6. Rock and Jerry Seinfeld getting pulled by the cops for speeding is only hilarious.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Art imitates life.

Release Date: January 16, 2015

(DelBoy is prepping the June Rodgers Christmas Show at the Red Cow. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. Edward Snowden, the former Booz Allen Hamilton analyst with a big mouth, has starred in a documentary.

2. The documentary has been put together by Laura Poitras. According to Glenn Greenwald she is the only other person, apart from himself, with a full NSA archive. Clearly he is another big mouth.

3. It’s primarily filmed in Snowden’s Hong Kong hotel room. Hong Kong being the home place of personal and internet freedom.

4. I am not linking to the NSA website or the Department of Homeland Security because I like travelling in peace.

5. Citizenfour is the third in a series of documentaries by Poitras. My Country, My Country (2006) earned her both an Academy Award nomination and a place on the Department of Homeland Security’s watch list.

6. The official website uses robots.txt to stop webcrawlers from accessing the site. And false widow spiders.

7. Citizenfour was Edward Snowden’s secret username when he first contacted Poitras and Greenwald. He also went by the username Verax.

8. Broadsheet Prognosis: Telegram, telephone, tell Edward Snowden.

Release date: Yet to be leaked.

(Delboy is away)

What you may need to know:

1. Ron Howard’s drama about the whaleship Essex, which was attacked and sunk by a sperm whale (yes alright) in 1820. The shipwrecked crew were adrift for 90 days and resorted to cannibalism. Nom nom.

2. Based on Nathaniel Philbrick’s 2000 novel of the same name, the story of the Essex was the inspiration for Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick.

3. The man that was once Richie Cunningham has assembled an impressive supporting cast, including the untouchable Ben Whishaw and our lad Cillian Murphy.

4. Andy Serkis is doing the whale.

5. (Andy Serkis is not doing the whale).

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: More sperm than Ron Jeremy.

Release Date: March 13, 2015

(DelBoy is alive, well and living comfortably off the proceeds of his Eircom shares. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. Three vampires living in a shared flat in downtown Wellington are struggling to adapt to the challenges of modern living. They allow a camera crew in to their lives to film a documentary.

2. Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi have teamed up again to develop their short film of the same name into a full feature.

3. It’s the first time they’ve collaborated since Eagle vs Shark (2007.

4. Waititi’s last film Boy (2010) was a record New Zealand box office smash.

5. Clement blew us away in Gentlemen Broncos (2009). Here is hoping.

6. Will Ferrell’s online vehicle Funny Or Die is lending its marketing weight to the film as part of the distribution.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: We are Team Funny.

Release date: November 21

(Delboy is away)

What you may need to know:

1. Ian Power‘s drama recreates the night in September 2008 when the government decided to guarantee the Irish banking system.

2. This evening the part of David Drumm will be played by Fran from Love/Hate, and Amber’s dad will be Brian Lenihan.

3. If you’re wondering why there’s no sign of Bertie, it’s because he’d cashed in his chips six months previously. Besides, he had no idea what was going on anyway. No siree bob.

4. They should have got Barry Murphy to play Angela Merkel. Stroking a cat.

5. Other names under consideration were “The Buggering,” “The Shafting” and “The Hazing.”

6. Shame this wasn’t postponed until the run up to the next general election.

7. Matt Cooper will be hosting a satellite link-up hour of rage at selected (scroll down) premiere screenings.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Prepare to have your p1ss boiled all over again.

Release Date: October 30 (at selected cinemas)

(DelBoy is away. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No8L70naZRA]

What you may need to know:

1. An aging actor loses his skills and his desire to perform and attempts suicide. He later begins an affair with a much younger lesbian which sparks passion into his life once again.

2. The movie is adapted from Philip Roth’s steamy novel of the same name . Al Pacino bought the rights in 2009. The sly dog.

3. As a novel it didn’t garner great review with the Guardian reviewer saying  busy Roth needed to “be slowing down a little. And perhaps should be getting out of the house a bit more.”

4. It was a very depressing book, the trailer seems to have a few laughs though.

5. The great Barry Levinson is directing. I suppose we can forgive him Sphere (1998) after all. Just.

6. Greta Gerwig is apparently  producing and writing the How I met Your Mother spin-off. entitled How I Met Your Dad.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: More humbling, less fumbling please.

Release Date: TBC

What you may need to know:

1. Brian Gleeson agrees to put his ex-girlfriend up for the night after her flight out of Dublin is delayed and all hotels in the city are booked out.

2. It’s another Gleeson movie. The Baldwins are part Irish too you know.

3. That’s Megan from Mad Men. She has also been lending her voice to deranged TV animation Robot Chicken of late.

4. It rains a lot in Dublin? Rome is wetter but you never hear people complaining about the weather in Rome. Harrumph.

5. I don’t think that’s a real French accent.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: What’s the French for cliché?

Release Date: November 14t

What you may need to know:

1. Sci-fi set in 2044. Solar storms have turned the world’s surface into a radioactive desert and decimated the population to 21 million. Robots carry out the manual labour necessary for humankind’s survival.

2. Insurance guy Jacq Vaucan (Antonio Banderas) investigates a robot that’s broken one of the security protocols (ie. Asimov’s laws) designed to protect their human overlords.

3. A cross between Blade Runner (1982) and I, Robot (2004) that’s not based on a story by Philip K. Dick? Strange.

4. Kudos to sophomore director Gabe Ibáñez for taking a modest $15m budget and making it look like a lot more.

5. 2044 and no flying cars or hoverboards? Come on science, step up.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Linguo… dead?

Release Date: October 10 (US).

(DelBoy is away. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. Clint Eastwood directs Bradley Cooper in the biopic of US Navy SEAL Chris Kyle.

2. Now that’s how you do a trailer.

3. With 160 confirmed kills and four tours of duty in Iraq, Kyle was the deadliest sniper in US military history.

4. Obviously, killing 160 people isn’t the sort of thing that you just leave at work. Kyle had a hard time adjusting to civilian life, and his knack for finding trouble included a punch-up with former WWF wrestler and governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura.

5. Sienna Miller is unrecognisable. I mean in general.

6. It looks like Clint’s back on form after the fluffy musical Jersey Boys (2014) and underwhelming Trouble with the Curve (2012).

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Bullseye.

Release Date: January 16, 2015 (UK).

(DelBoy is away. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)