Professor Stephen Hawking

It’s a shabby and shameful disgrace,
That humans have not conquered space,
But the world’s favourite prof,
Has teamed up with a toff,
To launch the next phase of this race.

John Moynes

Getty

If you think that the world’s greatest song,
Is by Zeppelin, well maybe you’re wrong,
A judge will decide,
If Plant and Page lied,
When they said it’s their work all along.

John Moynes

Pic: Vinyl Tempest

A display of illegal dumping, Frankfort Cottages, Killarney Street, Dublin 1

The council have thrown a curve ball,
Putting litterbugs up on a wall,
Fifteen minutes of fame,
Brings attention and shame,
That the dirty ones don’t want at all.

John Moynes

Fianna Fáil’s Micheál Martin at Leinster House Yesterday

Fianna Fáil say that they feel,
They can’t accept Fine Gael’s deal,
They’ll seize the controls,
Or go back to the polls,
There’s a whole country still there to steal.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

New Yorker writer Calvin Trillin

In New York they say that the sight,
Of a poem should cause simple delight,
But try to play nice,
When writing of rice,
Or you’ll kick off a nasty food fight.

John Moynes

The New Yorker

Republican US Presidential candidate hopeful Ted Cruz (right) and family last night

The people in Wisconsin choose,
To give their support to Ted Cruz,
He may be a freak,
With a far right wing streak,
But it’s worth it to see Donald lose.

John Moynes

PA

It seems that our beaches are full,
Of faeces that comes from the gull,
I’m all in a flap,
About taking their crap,
And I reckon it’s time for a cull.

John Moynes

Irish Dr Mark Bonar accused of prescribing banned treatments to sports stars

The innocent youngster might hope,
That footballers don’t cheat with dope,
That the beautiful game,
Will remain free from shame,
Can we reassure them? Erm, nope.

John Moynes

Times

And the award for most tasteless #aprilfoolsday ‘gag’ goes to… https://t.co/VF8qWQ69vw pic.twitter.com/k0mYYODjQw

— HuffPost UK (@HuffPostUK) April 1, 2016

If you don’t want to look like a fool,
Then remember this one simple rule,
What the newspapers say,
Is nonsense today,
The rest of the year though, they’re cool.

John Moynes

Northern Ireland’s First Minister Arlene Foster

The DUP leader Arlene,
Has said things that sound a bit mean,
About those who died so,
The Brits might just go,
While wearing a proud shade of green.

John Moynes

BBC