Seb Dance (left), a Labour MEP for London, protests Nigel Farage’s address to the European Parliament yesterday
In Europe a chap called Seb Dance
Decided he would take his chance
To alert the news wire
About a large fire
That had started inside Nigel’s pants
John Moynes
Once again railway bosses have found
An excuse not to go underground
The proposed station’s grand
But they don’t own the land
A failing which seems quite profound
John Moynes
An Ohio policeman Doug Bline
Volunteered to do something quite fine
Let a terminally ill
Girl get a massive thrill
She tazed him and left on cloud nine.
John Moynes
Pic: AP
Donald Trump with the executive order banning citizens of seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the US for 90 days
The Donald treats the constitution
Like a hasty new year’s resolution
All men are made equal
Now has a sad sequel
Of savage and vile persecution.
John Moynes
Pic: UPI/BancrodtMedia
UPDATE:
Meanwhile…
This morning.
Spotted in a shop on Talbot Street, Dublin 1.
Previously: What The Heil?
Thanks Graeme Kelly
UPDATE:
Meanwhile…
By Annie West
Top: Adult TV stars Alexa Brooke (centre) and Vicky Nami in Westport, County Mayo yesterday and Colm Flynn of RTÉ One’s Today with Maura and Dáith meet the models
Phones ringing late in the night
Gave the people of Westport a fright
Callers seeking flirtation
With girls from Babestation
Could not get the diallng code right.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO8RQ3VKoKo
A young Tory fellow name Carter
Now regrets that he started to barter
For a piece of tail
And went on to fail
To get even a glimpse of her garter.
John Moynes
The Gardaí have launched a program
To shut down a nuptial scam
In case, in some way
A couple’s big day
Turns out to be merely a sham.
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
US President Donald Trump (left) and North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un
Donald knew that on day one
He should copy the great Kim Jong-un
Patriotically say
This is a holiday
And there’s nothing new under the sun.
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
Former Minister for Health in the NI Executive Michelle O’Neill with President of Sinn Féin Gerry Adams, in the Mansion House, Dublin 2 for a debate on Irish unity yesterday
Now Gerry has hinted that he’ll
Anoint a new leader, O’Neill
She’s just the cailín
To work with Arlene
And thrash out a new Stormont deal.
John Moynes
Leah Farrell/Rollingnews
Former Northern Ireland Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness
I’ll not cheer ill health in a man
Even if he took part in a plan
To level the odds
By killing off prods
At such time a man does all he can.
John Moynes
Rollingnews
