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Category Archives: News
Well we think that’s what happened.
Review Urged After Child Falls From Plane Steps (BBC)
illustration: wiseguyrussell
Arbour Hill this morning. He made that hoodie in sewing class.
We Can’t Watch Murphy All The Time Gardai Admit (Irish Independent)
What does it take to get the heave-ho from the Holy See? Rape a Vatican Guard? Kick the pontiff Bishop Brennan-style? Cover up child abuse in your diocese? None of the above, apparently. Never mind. Try these bishopric-ending one-liners on for size:
10. “look Ben, I’m cool with the whole Adam and Eve thing, but the talking snake? C’mon. Fuck. Right. Off.”
9. “Hitler Youth, eh? Gas any jews?”
8. “No. You kiss my ring. And when I say ring I mean my asshole.”
7. “Allahu Akbar”
6. “You think Dan Brown was right about Jesus being a chick? He seems to really know his stuff.”
5. “Why don’t you kick off those Prada slippers and let me give you one of my famous foot massages. Don’t be shy.”
4. “I’ve just had my Thetans audited and, like, WOW. I want to jump up and down on this couch. Woah. Dianetics. Oh YES. Totally buzzed now.”
3. “If you’re so infallible, Ratz, why do you talk so much bullshit?”
2. “Your Eminence. I have had consensual sex with a person of legal age.”
1. “Couldn’t we follow Christ’s actual teachings? (long pause) Right. I’ll get my mitre.”
Pope Rejects Bishops Resignation After Child Abuse Report (The Guardian)
Madam,
A ‘serious of tests‘?
The ‘cause of his illness thought to be caused by…‘?
If this is what passes for journalism at the Newspaper of Record these days, I shall be cancelling my subscription and crossing the Liffey to Abbey Street. To buy a copy of Razzle.
Yours etc,
Chompsky
(Meta critic/dog)
Steven Slater is easily the most fabulous, but not the first disgruntled New Yorker to make a celeb of himself by going hatstand on the job. Sixty three years ago, there was William Cimillo.
It took the cops a fortnight to find him.
Holed-up in an entirely different city.
William Cimillo: Leaving a Job With a Bus, Not a Slide. (New York Times)
YES!
And by yes we mean ‘not for a while so stop asking’
Bank Of Ireland Post Huge Losses Amid Dud Loans (Business Week)
Not food poisoning but “minor” surgery to repair scar tissue damage. Believed to have occurred during a laughing bout while signing FAI contract.
