What you may need to know:

1. Remakes. Remakes everywhere.

2. To be fair, William Wyler’’s 1959 version with gun lovin’ Charlton Heston was a remake.

3. Lew Wallace’s novel had already been adapted for the screen in 1907 and 1925.

4. Morgan Freeman’s hair deserves its own movie.

5. I presume that the chariot race will make the podrace sequence in Phantom Menace look tastefully restrained in comparison.

6. Broadsheet prognosis: Ben there, done that.

Release Date: August 26.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. C’est le nouveau Tim Burton.

2. Adapted from Ransom Riggs’ best-selling children’s book.

3. Is it too late for Burton to produce something truly original again?

4. Probably… next on the director’s plate is a live action remake of Dumbo.

5. Samuel L. Jackson’’s look has been lifted straight from The Omega Man.

6.   With Batman v Superman out next week, it’s a good opportunity to remember Burton’s ill-fated attempt to put Nicholas Cage into the blue onesie. Check out Jon Schnepp’s utterly bonkers The Death of Superman Lives for the whole story.

7.We didn’t mention Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham Carter once.

8. Broadsheet prognosis: The unbearable Burton of quirkiness.

Release Date: September 30.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. It’s a mockumentary from SNL alumni Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone.

2. Formerly known as “Top Secret Untitled Lonely Island Movie”.

3. Both the trailer and the cast list suggest that this is going to be cameo-tastic.

4. Fine, but remember Zoolander 2 and don’t forget the jokes.

5. Broadsheet prognosis: Spinal Crap.

Release Date: August 26.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. SHIELD is in a state of crisis after failing to elect a Taoiseach. Life/art etc.

2. Here’s the first look at the new Spider-Man (Tom Holland). He’s 12 now. And his eyes move. Compelling stuff.

3. Sony/Marvel’s reboot of the reboot of Spider-Man (The Adequate Spider-Man? The Acceptable Spider-Man?) will arrive in 2017. Jon Watts is today’s director.

4. Holland is signed up for three movies. Don’t get too comfy in those tights, Tom.

5. Broadsheet prognosis: With great power comes crappy CGI.

Release Date:  April 29.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. A homeless woman (Caoimhe Cassidy) encounters a series of men (all played by Joseph Lydon) who appear strikingly similar to each other.

2. Director Graham Jones shot this microbudget drama Irish Neorealism-style .

3. Or “Nuascannán” as Jones would have it. He’s got a manifesto (put it to the test-o).

4. The whole thing is available now for free on YouTube. No stealing required.

5. Fair play, in fairness.

6. Broadsheet prognosis: I can see my house from here.

Release Date: Out now.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. It’s the first proper look at Paul Feig’s ill-advised reboot. And it hasn’t gone down well.

2. “I’m not a misogynist, but I play one on TV”. The decision to go with an all-female cast has been heavily criticised since the project was first announced.

3. Now Leslie Jones is getting heat over the fact that her character is the only one of the principal cast that’s not a scientist.

4. Calm down. No one’s childhood is getting raped.

5. Yes, this looks terrible. No, it’s not funny. But it’s probably no worse than the Ghostbusters 3 project that Dan Aykroyd was developing for over a decade. And it won’t change how good the original Ghostbusters is.

6. Broadsheet prognosis: Stinky McStinkeroo. In 3D.

Release Date: July 15.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. Two sons (Jesse Eisenberg and Devin Druid) deal with the death of their mother.

2. I’ve said it before, but from Bracken to Ghost Ship (2002), Gabriel Byrne is a consistently better actor than the roles he’s offered.

3. Eisenberg’s Honest Film Review for The New Yorker irked a lot of film critics. Fair point, in fairness.

4. Was “Louder Than Bombs” everyone’s first Smiths album? How could you say no to 24 songs for the bargain price of £4.99 (on cassette)?

5. Broadsheet prognosis: Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now.

Release Date: April 22.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at whybother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. Movie based on the massively popular game.

2. Four years too late.

3. It could be worse. There’s a Sonic the Hedgehog movie due in 2018. Sonic. The. Hedgehog.

4. And Apple has a Siri movie in development.

5. Besides, who doesn’t love a good video game adaption?

6. Broadsheet prognosis: Beak and destroy.

Release Date: May 13.

What you may need to know:

1. Huge congratulations to Benjamin Cleary who bagged the golden naked guy statue for Best Live Action Short with Stutterer.

2. Sadly Lenny Abrahamson, Ed Guiney, Saoirse Ronan, Michael Fassbender and Emma Donoghue all lost out in their respective categories, but the attention can only benefit the Irish film industry. And sure it’s an honour just to be nominated. *Unclenches teeth*

3. George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road was last night’s big winner with 6 wins. Alejandro González Iñárritu made it a double for The Revenant, but Tom McCarthy’s Spotlight bagged best picture.

4. The last time the Academy split the Best Picture/Director combo was in 2005 when Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain lost out to Mike Figgis’ Crash.

5. The big surprise was Sylvester Stallone losing Best Supporting Actor to Mark Rylance. On the other hand, DiCaprio was practically on his way to collect the Best Actor statue before Julianne Moore had opened the envelope.

6. The official theme of this year’s ceremony was “We all dream in gold.” Unofficially, it was “The inherent racism of Hollywood.” Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs gave a “mea culpa” speech promising how things will be different next year

7. And host Chris Rock’s (above) opening monologue practically wrote itself (highlights included “If they nominated hosts, I wouldn’t even get this job”). Cue shots of the audience looking more uncomfortable than a scout troop at the taping of the 1975 Jim’ll Fix It Christmas Special.

8. Louis CK gave the best presenting speech for Documentary Short (“This Oscar’s going home in a Honda Civic”).

9. Weirdest moment: Sadly no John Travolta or Terence Howard Lady Gaga dressed as Vegas comeback special Elvis was as weird at it got.

10. Thank you count – Spouses/parents: 19. Agents: 3. George Miller was this year’s Wes Anderson with 6, and Ennio Morricone gave Harvey Weinstein a shout out, ensuring no PAs were hurt and restoring balance to the universe.

11. The Hollywood Reporter’s Brutally Honest Oscar Voter Ballot proved that academy members continue to vote in categories without watching all the nominated movies (Daniel Berger’s response is worth a look), and that nobody knows the difference between sound editing and sound mixing.

12. Broadsheet Verdict: A bit safe really. But at least there wasn’t a song-and-dance number.

Highlights of the 88th Academy Awards are on RTÉ2 tonight at 9pm.

This Trailer Park special was brought to you in association with the Angelus and Kissable Fierce by Katie Price – “a perfume for the evening”.

(Mark writes about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

What you may need to know:

1. Good grief. Green screen much?

2. Mortal Bek (Brenton Thwaites) allies with god Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) to defeat Set (Gerard Butler), the god of darkness. As you do.

3. Nothing says quality like Gerard Butler.

4. If you thought the Oscars were #SoWhite, it’s nothing compared to ancient Egypt.

5. Gods of Egypt has already come under fire for its whitewashed cast. It looks like it may have bigger problems than a lack of diversity.

6. Broadsheet prognosis: God almighty.

Release Date: April 8