Bus Éireann bus, on the Dublin – Ashbourne route (103)
Further to the Dublin Bus driver who tied an elderly person’s shoelace who was unable to do so himself…
Aidan Strangeman writes:
On the bus home, Aisling has her handbag under the seat. The lad behind her takes her wallet out of it, and heads down the stairs to get off at the next stop.
Someone alerts Aisling, and she runs down the stairs after the lad, but by then he’s already briskly walking off down the road as the bus pulls away.
The lad probably thinks he’s getting away with it.
What he doesn’t know is that our bus driver is the maddest of Mad Toms: even on good days his eyes tend to work independently.
Sure enough, the bus stops, the doors burst open and out flies Tom. Even though I’m on the top deck, I can still see that Tom’s head is fully fire engine red with the rage.
He’s not having a bit of it.
The lad is a whippet with a headstart. Our Tom is shaped more like a breakfast roll with arms and legs. And yet, he’s still gaining on him with every stride.
The lad – accepting he is beaten, and probably close to emptying his bowels at the sight of Mad Tom steaming towards him – stops, turns, and lobs the wallet high over Tom’s head, which is how he gets to live to rob another day.
When Tom gets back to the bus, he hands the wallet back to a delighted Aisling, and a much-deserved round of applause breaks out.
Later, when I get off at my stop, instead of the usual “thanks”, I say “well done”, but all Tom says is “twas no bother”, as if running down pickpockets like a Mad Tom Terminator T1000 is just something he does from time to time, for the craic.
And it probably is.
*That happened one evening back in 2010, just before I got made redundant. I’m back on the buses this year and there’s no sign of Tom on the route (Bus Eireann route: Dublin – Ashbourne, 103) but if he’s still driving buses, I’d give him all the raises that he wants.
Previously: In Fairness
An unhinged, hilarious, nightmarish, BAFTA –nommed 2012 stop motion short by Robert Morgan. To wit:
Bobby Yeah is a petty thug who lightens his miserable existence by brawling and stealing stuff. One day, he steals the favourite pet of some very dangerous individuals, and finds himself in deep trouble. He really should learn, but he just can’t help it.
Up to 120 BMW cars stolen in a sophisticated cross-border key cloning racket were to be broken up and shipped to Latvia, the High Court in Belfast has heard. An eastern European crime gang is suspected to be behind the theft of the cars from Dublin. They then moved them to garages in Northern Ireland, prosecutors said.
A prosecuting lawyer said two co-accused are believed to have travelled from England to help transport the cars. “Police believe this gang are operating in different jurisdictions,” the lawyer said. “Approximately 120 BMWs were stolen from the greater Dublin area since September 2013.” The lawyer said: “Since the arrests, there have been no reported thefts of BMWs in the Dublin area. Prior to this, they were almost on a nightly basis.”
File Pic: James Horan/Photocall Ireland
A lorry driver has pleaded guilty to stealing a bra and underwear from a circus in Derry last month.
Seamus James Gerald Bonner, 32, from Ivy Terrace, committed the offence on 11 April.
He admitted entering, as a trespasser, a mobile changing room at a circus in Ebrington Square and stealing the bra and underwear.
Sentencing was put back until 20 June to enable the preparation of a pre-sentence report.
File pic: Eamonn Farrell/Photocall Ireland
Youtuber camelsandfriends sez:
Cantaloupe, the Italian Greyhound loves to steal things off my friend’s desk. You could walk out of the bedroom for a minute and something else would disappear. It didn’t matter what it was, she’d take it the second you shut the door. It’s almost like magic. It got me wondering how exactly she gets up there and how she chooses what she steals, so I decided to start filming! I left the camera on a tripod pointed at the desk and a week later these are my results of Cantaloupe’s exploits.