The 8 Rules To Surviving Social Media

1. Be mentally healthy

Mental health is everything. The best way to be mindful is to attack the mental health of another while claiming you are the victim. If you do it right you might even make them go all the way. And you can really milk it when you read their eulogy at the church. You will look so sensitive you might even get some sympathy sex out of it.

2. Be steadfastly heroic

Children are important. Old people are important too. But nobody is more important than you. You supersede all others. This does not make you a narcissist. It makes you a hero. This world was made for you. Old folks are easy to get rid of. Kids are even easier. These people are just background actors in your charismatic close-up. Never let the living get in the way of your deadly destiny.

3. Be responsibly free

Censorship is dangerous. Unless you are doing the censoring. Then it is necessary. Any coward who disagrees with you is dangerously wrong. They need to be confronted with courageous censorship. You are only doing what needs to be done to protect everyone, including those you are censoring. Intelligent people proudly block out all contrary thought. Only then can you truly think freely.

4. Be ready for battle

Words mean what you want them to mean. The idea that words should retain their functionary meaning is moronic. In this battlefield of feelings, there should be no room for tone. Or intent. Or satire. Or humour. Or confusion. Or context. Or anything. Etymology is for imbeciles. You own all language. Words are yours to weaponise as you wish. Attack! Attack! Attack!

5. Be relentlessly compassionate

‘Compassionism’ is the way forward. It may not even be a word but it is the new political doctrine. Show the world how compassionate you are. Use the word hugely. If anyone points out that your behaviour is the anthesis of what it means to be compassionate, annihilate them. Viciously. Relentlessly. Barbarically. But compassionately.

6. Be more intelligent-er

Stupid people contradict themselves. Wise people contradict everyone else. You are never wrong. Even when you are. You have never been wrong. Even when you were. You will never be wrong. Even when you will be. That’s real intelligence.

7. Be ready to embrace emotion

Never hesitate to accuse another without foundation. Due process is a scam. Everybody is guilty of something. Nobody is innocent of anything. Just because it didn’t happen doesn’t mean they didn’t do it. Just because they didn’t do it doesn’t mean you are wrong. People are what you accuse them of being. If you feel they did it then they absolutely did it. Emotion is the new evidence.

8. Be full of feeling

Facts are for fools. Never let facts get in the way of your feels. If people expose your lies with their facts then attack them with your feels. Feelings trump everything. If you feel something is real then, goddamn it, it is real. Even if it isn’t. Feeling is the new fact.

Happy hunting, hyenas.

Terry McMahon is a filmmaker and can be found on Twitter @terrymcmahon69

Previously: Terry McMahon on Broadsheet

Illustration via Kaspersky

Last night.

‘Bridget M’ writes:

Credit where it’s due…[last night’s] RTÉ Investigates [on anabolic steroids] was public service broadcasting at its best… I think it will change the whole culture around steroid use among young men in Ireland..It was well-researched and pretty terrifying for any parent… I have an idea who the social influencer [mentioned during the show] could be but does anyone know why they weren’t named?

Anyone?

Watch back here

RTE Investigates Uncovers Steroid Use (RTÉ)

This morning

Dylan and his band and Young with Promise of the Real will play Kilkenny’s Nowlan Park (top) on Sunday, July 14, 2019.

Tickets go on sale next Monday, December 17, at 9:00am from outlets nationwide.

Bob Dylan and Neil Young announce Irish show (RTÉ)

Stop that.

Yesterday.

Ballsbridge Hotel, Dublin 4.

Alan Alda, actor and founder of the Alda Centre for Communicating Science at Stony Brook University, New York and and science journalist Jonathan McCrea at the Science Communication Conference.

RollingNews

Average rents by county in the third quarter of 2018, according to the Residential Tenancies Board (RTB)

…Amid continuing unprecedented demand, the national average rent rose to €1,122 during the quarter, up 7% on the same period last year.

But a moderation in that pace of growth is also evident, with rental price inflation dropping to 1.9% compared to the previous quarter when it was 3.6%.

In Dublin, the rate of increase was higher than the national picture at almost 9%, bringing the average rent in the capital to €1,620.

The index also found that areas designated as Rent Pressure Zones are seeing a slower pace of rent inflation for people who already have a tenancy.

However, one concern for the future is that the number of landlords is falling, despite high rental prices and record demand.

Rents still rising, but number of landlords falling – RTB rent index (RTÉ)

Eoin writes:

This report, jointly produced by RTB and the ESRI [The Economic and Social Research Institute], is controversial. Ireland’s #1 landlord Kennedy Wilson (which has leapfrogged #2 IRES), disputes the figures and I agree with KW, the figures appear to be based on new tenancies only.

The report has been released for previous quarters, timed to boost Eoghan Murphy’s political status (eg published day after vote of no confidence, published on day Eoghan visited the ploughing championship to announce policy changes etc), this is the earliest the report has been published. It appears to have been given in advance to the Irish Times only…

Hmm


From top: Protestors in Skibbereen opposing plans for a plastics factory manufacturing polymer pellets in the town last February; Dan Boyle

When our family moved from Chicago to Cork, my Dad stayed there for a further five years. He worked as a merchant seaman on the Great Lakes. His intent to build up a nest egg.

During this period we would have see him for a few weeks in and around Christmas time.

At other times we would record cassette tapes we sent to the US/Canada to let him know we were thinking of him and missing him.

As a 10 year old I would have performed my party piece, which found it way onto one such cassette. It was the somewhat mawkish yet still somehow anthemic famine song, ‘Skibbereen’.

The open lines of the song continues to be evocative for me, precisely because of how it came to exist in my life.

“Oh Father dear I often hear you speak of Erin’s isle”

Several verses later while ranging from the near piteous to the near militant, the song ends with a rallying cry ‘Revenge for Skibbereen’.

I think of the song as a link in my relationship with my Dad. It has also given me something of an affinity with the town of Skibbereen.

The place that suffered the worst ravages of the Potato Famine has lot going for it now.

The gateway to the glories of West Cork, the town is surrounded by a necklace of incredibly beautiful coastal villages. Add to those locations the wonderful Lough Hyne, and you have a region that compares with any of the visually stunning parts of the World.

West Cork isn’t without the economic difficulties other regions experience. Despite many persistent obstacles, great efforts have been made to make Skibbereen more economically diverse.

The development of a globally rated local food culture has been part of that process. As has been the establishment The Ludgate Hub, named after a turn of the 20th century computing pioneer, Percy Ludgate, a Skibbereen native, who developed an analytical machine.

This Centre is attempting to provide a template for IT companies to exist and thrive in small towns in Ireland.

Into this mix someone somewhere has decided that Skibbereen needs an industrial component to its economic development.

Over the past year a proposal to construct a plastics factory in the town has been making its way through the planning system.

There has been practically no support for this factory in the town. It is felt it is in no way complementary, and is thought to be openly compromising, of the economic development that has been occurring there.

The opposition has turned into justified anger as planners in Cork County Council, and subsequently Bord Pleanala, have flexibly interpreted planning regulations so that the plastics company has not been obliged to provide an environmental impact statement, or seek an air pollution licence.

Last week Bord Pleanala chose to approve the application, ignoring the need for such safeguards. Tonight another in a series of well attended public meetings will be held in Skibbereen, to consider what further opposition will be made. Details here.

Time to add a few more verses to that song.

Dan Boyle is a former Green Party TD and Senator. His column appears here every Thursday. Follow Dan on Twitter: @sendboyle

Pic via The Southern Star

One of 14 pedestrian crossing lights subtly altered on Konstitucijos Street in Vilnius to celebrate the centenary of voting rights for Lithuanian women.

Like many other European countries, Lithuanian women earn 14 percent less than their male colleagues [and hold only 17 percent of executive positions]

(Photos: PETRAS MALUKAS/AFP/Getty Images)

thisisnthappiness

UK Prime Minister Theresa May in Downing Street last night

An Etonian’s dream of a coup
Failed, in the end, to come true
And Prime Minister May
Again starts her day
With no idea what she should do

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

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