An award winning short by Robert Grieves in which the idyllic world of two artisan stallholders is shattered by a devious fast-food vendor, bringing a ferocious turf war life changing events and a delicious discovery.
The votes are in.
Earlier this week, with a two boxes of bespoke Catch bar selection boxes to giveaway, we asked you what would you like to ‘catch’ Santa leaving under the tree this year.
You answered in your tens,
But there could be only two winners:
Theo Kretschmar-Schuldorff: “There’s a pretty major water leak at the front of Casa Kretschmar-Schuldorff, near where the Christmas tree is. I’m blue in the face arguing with Irish Water and GMC/Actavo/Siteserv.I’d like to catch Santy (Redacted and Co) laying some bloomin pipes under the tree. ”
Will O Connell: “I would love to catch a break on these Broadsheet competitions. I’ve entered loads of times and have never won. Why should I win this time? Well, it’s my partner’s favourite chocolate bar and I would love to present him with a limited edition selection box on Christmas morning. I wish he still looked at me the way he looks at a Catch bar.”
Tuesday: It’s Not Christmas Without A Catch
Thanks David Quinn (an entirely different fellow, relax now)
Last Monday, with a bottle of Chinnery Dublin Dry Gin to literally giveaway, YOU were asked to tell us why you deserve the hooch
You entered in your thirsty tens.
class wario: I deserve a bottle of Chinnery Gin especially at this time owing to the fact it’s been oolong since I’ve had a drink!
Bisted: I deserve a bottle of Chinnery Gin as friends of mine once had a racehorse called Comrade Chinnery…a gin called Chinnery might just finish the process of ruination…
Scottser: I deserve a bottle of Chinnery Gin especially at this time owing to my secret life as a Victorian prostitute ‘Ello Dearie, fancy a good time, my lovely?’ *raises petticoats and jiggles ankle seductively*
Fluffybiscuits: I deserve a bottle of Chinnery Gin especially at this time owing to a weekend of sin, caused by gin, which left me with a grin, a bloke’s heart I might win…so Chinnery…am I in?
Daisy Chainsaw: I deserve a bottle of Chinnery Gin. I DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU.
Kolmo: I deserve a bottle of Chinnery Gin especially at this time owing to our office Air-Con not functionin’, 9 people, 10 computers, pungent lunch choices, ’tis a sin for it smells like a bin, It truly smells like a bin. As we sit in this airless 28 degree cage, I scroll through the Broadsheet front page, Lo! this situation we are in could be eased with a win of a bottle of Chinnery Gin.
Last week This Calls For A Chinnery
NKD Pizza, Orwell Road, Rathgar, Dublin 6
Ian Collins writes:
NKD Pizza, the healthier pizza brand already renowned worldwide, has just opened its first Irish store at Orwell Road, Rathgar in South Dublin.
NKD Pizza is offering their pizza with a difference, daily from 5pm, for delivery or collection.
Ten different grains are sourced from around the world before being ground and blended in County Meath.
It’s all about the base at NKD Pizza
Made fresh in-store, the hand-made dough which contains super grains such as Quiona and Amaranth, a super grain which is composed of 15–18% protein, is bound with water, before proofing for 48 hours, creating a healthier, tastier pizza base.
Pizza lovers can create their very own NKD Pizza or choose from a range of NKD Pizza offerings including gluten free options.
To celebrate the opening, we would like to offer a Broadsheet reader a €50 voucher to spend at NKD Pizza.
To enter, please complete this sentence.
‘My own healthy NKD pizza, which I shall call________________, will contain____________________________________________[ingredients]’
Lines MUST close at 2.45pm.
For your feet!
We have a pair of the new UBERKNIT™ Slip-On High Top Sneakers from the new S/S 2017 collection to give away to a Broadsheet reader! These sleek, simple and slick, pull-on sneakers are one of the latest innovations from FitFlop.
With their unbeatable ergonomics, super lightweight midsoles and breathable stretch, you’re guaranteed comfort all day long!
To enter, please complete this sentence.
‘I feel I should be given at least a pair of Fit Flop Uberknit pull-on sneakers particularly this week owing to________________________’
Lines MUST close at
6.45 Midnight 2am.
Last week, in our Friday Golden Discs competition, we asked you who your favourite second-generation Irish artists have been over the years.
To be precise, we asked you to fill in the following blanks:
The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess would have to be______________________________________’
At stake was a voucher printed and signed off on to the tune of twenty-five Euro, redeemable at any of Golden Discs’ fourteen locations around the country. The competition was fierce. But there, as ever, can only be one winner.
PMCD with the clincher:
“The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess would have to Kevin Rowland of Dexys. Mr Rowland lambasted the stereotype of the Thick Paddy with his first single ‘Dance Stance’: “Never heard about, can’t think about Oscar Wilde and Brendan Behan, Sean O’Casey, George Bernard Shaw. Samuel Beckett, Eugene O’Neill, Edna O’Brien and Lawrence Stern.”
He almost spits out the lyrics in anger – it still sends a shiver up my back 35+ years later. Oh, and his second single ‘Geno’ went to No. 1 and happens to be one of the best songs ever – pop fact! And if all that’s not good enough for ya – the man’s got style!”
Other highlights from the running:
Smith: “The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess would have to be John Lydon. Hard to sum up his influence and impact with any soundbite, but this legend firstly under the guise of ‘Johnny Rotten’ with the Sex Pistols was the punk spokesperson for disaffected youth in a time not dissimilar to now in the UK with rising racism and burgeoning neoliberalism. He was both proudly British and Irish and was unafraid to express his views both musically and in person. With PIL, he really found his form and helped to re-shape music with this post-punk brilliance. RISE is a song that encapsulates the man. “Anger is an energy”.”
Jamie: “The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess is clearly proud Waterford woman Kate Bush (her mother was from the Deise). Have any of these other people (the comments had) mentioned recorded a song with whipping noises and someone going “OOOOH! OOOOH!” like an owl in the background all the way through? No. No they haven’t. I rest my case.”
Penfold: “The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess would have to be both Lennon and McCartney. Both embraced this, evident in their post Beatles ventures, with Wings’ Give Ireland back to the Irish, and Lennon/Yoko’s Sunday Bloody Sunday.”
Bertie Blenkinsop: “The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess would have to be The Smiths. TOTP, 1983. I first set eyes on Johnny Marr and it was love at first sight. He’s never put a foot wrong since in my eyes, the coolest man alive. His autobiography is a great read and his solo stuff is not half bad either.”
Daisy Chainsaw: “The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess would have to be Mary O’Brien who became Dusty Springfield. A sublime voice who brought pathos to and elevated the songs of Bacharach and David to the classics they deserved to be.”
Zena: “The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess, would have to be Siobhan Fahey from Bananarama. She was so much more than a pretty face.”
EightersGonnaEight: “The greatest example of English-born second generation Irish musical prowess would have to be Bernard Butler of Suede.”
Pictured above, clockwise from top-left: Kevin Burke, Power of Dreams, The Golden Horde, Rollerskate Skinny, Auto da Fe, Aidan Walsh (Master of the Universe)
Last week, in our Friday Golden Discs competition, we asked you, rather than for any genre in particular, your favourite Irish gem that’s been forgotten by the march of time.
In fact, we asked you to finish the following sentence:
“I regard_______________________________as an absolute forgotten Irish classic because__________________________’
At stake was no more than a voucher guaranteeing its bearer a handsome twenty-five beans at any of Golden Discs’ fourteen locations around the country. And the competition was really, very tight. But there, as ever, can only be one winner.
Harry Molloy, one of Broadsheet’s regular commentators, with the well-deserved clincher:
I have found the most underappreciated but greatest Irish song that there is – this is especially strengthened by how much we tend to appreciate and replicate anything of value from this genre of music. Suitably, it is a song which no one I knew had heard of, and no once since has, until such time as it had been introduced to them.
It is ‘Mrs Gilhooley’s Party’ from Kevin Burke of the Bothy Band. With a song title like that you would be well excused to ignore, but I challenge you to stop and have a listen. Its best qualities are the fact that it is decent trad, of good caliber, it’s really funny, and you can’t watch it and not think how great it would be to see someone take that on live.
From an editorial perspective, this was an absolute heartbreaker to boil down to a few runners-up, but indeed, here they are. All of these tunes are also in the playlist embedded above, for your convenience.
Liam Zero: “I regard Season by Last Days of 1984 as an absolute forgotten Irish classic because, like the rest of the album it came from, it is one of the most wonderful pieces of music made on these shores, and it evokes joy and nostalgia and happiness and love and bliss and warmth and a late summer vibe that perhaps never actually exists in this country but which seems like a certainty this year once you hit play. It’s aural MDMA that doesn’t require you to go buying some dodgy pill from some dodgier bloke and then suffering the dodgiest comedown. It’s all the high and none of the low. It’s sunset and sunrise. It’s we’re going to be friends for EVER. It’s homebound contentment. It makes you gush this sort of rubbish. And it never got the love it deserved. It was forgotten from the start. But it’s goddamn fucking beautiful and I love it.”
Ferret McGruber: “I regard November, November by Auto da Fe as an absolute forgotten Irish classic because of Gay Wood’s evocative singing and bonkers stage performances, and Trevor Knight’s superb, ethereal keyboards. When it was released in 1982 it wasn’t like what anyone else was doing at the time. It’s also significant for being produced by Phil Lynott. Still makes me wonder what more he could have achieved had he stuck around.”
Gorugeen: “I regard Speed to My Side by Rollerskate Skinny as a forgotten Irish classic because it’s a rollicking, big sound and brings me back to Fibber Magees, main dance floor and the crowd going mental to it. But, nowadays all I get is blank looks when I mention the band or song. They should’ve been so much more.”
Me: “I regard Friends in Time by The Golden Horde as an absolute forgotten Irish classic because it’s a great song, with a Larry Gogan cameo in the video, but most of all when I went to listen to it on Spotify a few months back I couldn’t find their version, only the Ronan Keating cover.”
Baron Von Botter III: “Dudley Corporation’s Divil the Bit has it all. Swaying and lurching, threatening to topple over yet staying tight and lyrical. Abruptly ends after barely two minutes. All the elements of a classic.”
Friscondo: “It has to be one the the greatest Irish pop songs, Those Nervous Animals’ My Friend John. Great tune, great lyrics and now almost totally forgotten. I defy anyone not to love it on their first listen. Sligo has never produced anything better.”
Smith: “I regard Feeding Frenzy by National Prayer Breakfast an absolute forgotten Irish classic. An anthemic Phantom FM staple, with lyrics and jangly guitar representing true indie music away from the manufactured sound of mainstream radio.”
Al Jeers: “I regard ‘Master of the Universe’ Aidan Walsh’s Community Games as an absolute forgotten Irish classic because it’s the only song to my knowledge to conceptually decontruct that most Irish of all sports meetings.”
Donal: I regard Arclight by The Fat Lady Sings as an absolute forgotten Irish classic, because it’s still a cracking tune and it was our summer anthem at Ballyfin Jamboree in 1993.
Bertie Blenkinsop: Foremost among a number of great suggestions made by Bertie, who played a blinder here, was Power of Dreams’ Stay. – Mike
Goosey Lucy: Revelino’s Happiness is Mine. Listened to it non stop as a teenager.
Frilly Keane: Cypress Mine – Sugar Beet God. So good live that Zig ‘n’ Zag covered it.
Today, like every Friday, we’re preparing to part with a €25 voucher for Golden Discs, redeemable at any of their fourteen locations nationwide.
To celebrate the release of the talent-stuffed shortlist for this year’s Choice Music Prize, all we ask from YOU is a song from the current generation of Irish artists that we can play at an UNSPECIFIED time.
To enter, just complete the following sentence.
‘My current favourite song by a new Irish artist is ___________________ by ______________________ because __________________________’
Lines MUST close at MONDAY 10am!