A 2016 graduation short by Terri Matthews – just when you though International Dog Day was over. Contains animated wing-wangs and animated wing-wang related situations. To wit:

Malcolm Fetcher is a neurotic, middle-aged teacher lost in a dull marriage with his wife of twenty years, Beverly. As he faces an all-consuming identity crisis, their marriage disintegrates and he is forced to express a deep, hidden desire…

shortoftheweek

Think about it.

How many wheel friends have you got?

This afternoon.

Via Axa:

Cycling Ireland has partnered with AXA Insurance to create AXA Community Bike Rides, an exciting new programme that inspires people all over the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland to get out on their bikes.

AXA Community Bike Rides are free social leisure rides for adults of all ages and abilities. A trained Ride Leader will ensure your cycle is both safe and enjoyable. Participants can choose from ‘Easy Going’ or ‘Challenging’ rides meaning there is a distance and pace to suit everyone….

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Cycling Ireland

He said boob.

He means idiot.

While he argued that that the 2020 race isn’t about “the issues,” Walsh contended that he’s running to the right of Mr. Trump and believes in strong immigration policies. Walsh said he does not agree with Mr. Trump’s tax cut and would have given a greater tax cut to the middle class. When asked about the lack of policy plans on his campaign website, Walsh focused on the president.

“I’m running against Trump because he’s morally unfit. Period. It’s about Trump. It’s not about the issues. It’s about Trump,” Walsh said. “But on the issues, I believe in a wall. Trump hasn’t built a wall. I believe in border security. Trump has botched the border. The border’s a bigger mess now than it was when he got elected.”

He said boob.

It means something else over there.

Boob.

Stop that.

Joe Walsh, Republican candidate challenging Trump, says he lost his radio show (CBS)

This afternoon.

In Leinster House.

At the launch of a report by the Oireachtas Committee on Communications, Climate Action and Environment – following an examination of the National Broadband Plan process so far during May, June, July and August.

The report contains 25 conclusions and 10 recommendations which include

The Government should commission an external, independent review on whether its proposals (and the costs) are the only viable option.

A new cost-benefit analysis to be carried out before the final National Broadband contract is signed, commissioned by and developed independently of Government Departments.

The Comptroller and Auditor General should have a role identifying cost overruns in large infrastructure projects.

All infrastructure developed through the National Broadband Plan should remain in public ownership.

Government should re-engage with the ESB to examine the best model for delivery of a new National Broadband Plan through the ESB.

Chair of the committee and Fine Gael TD Hildegarde Naughton told those present:

“As you’re aware this report was endorsed by a majority of the committee, by five votes to three, and it’s well known that the Fine Gael members of the committee, of which I’m a member, did not agree with the report and I totally respect the democratic decision of the committee which I chair.”

More as we get it.

Watch live here

UPDATE:

During the launch…

Green Party leader and Dublin TD Eamon Ryan said:

“Ultimately it’s going to be up to Government now to make the call. They have to decide can they change this? And if so, how do we do it in a timely manner?

“If we don’t change it though, that sends out a message that worries me. That we’re engaged in consultation that isn’t, you know, real. You can look at ideas but actually once you’ve started on a path, you can’t diverge.”

Fine Gael Senator, from Cork, Tim Lombard said:

“KPMG said it would take five years if we were to start this process again – that we could actually come to where we are today. They’re the experts in the field, going through this procurement issue. The department said it could take three to five years. So that’s what the actual experts told us.”

“…from my point of view, we now need to press ahead. We don’t need another expensive review. We don’t expert independence coming in to give us more information on information. We need to get boots on the ground. We need to start this, we need to get a contract signed.”

Fine Gael Senator Joe O’Reilly, from Cavan-Monaghan, said:

“We’ve had an exhaustive process. This committee has sat for four months, effectively, close to four months, instead of the projected two months. So an exhaustive process. No member of the committee and, by the way, we all worked great together and there was a very positive, constructive approach and I’ve nothing to say to the contrary.

“But no member of the committee had a potential guest or group refused admission. So everybody that was wanted to be there was listened to.

“….We’ve exhausted all levels of inquiry. There is nothing new to learn here.”

“…Should we reduce the cost? Should we reduce the €3billion? Yes you can reduce the €3billion. You can take €1billion off it and make it €2billion.

“And you do that by taking 20 per cent of the homes out of it. In other words, defeat the whole purpose.

“…Why is it €3billion?…It’s actually €2billion net because there’s…effectively…up to €500million in there as a contingency in case things go wrong. There’s €345million for the VAT. So, effectively, it’s being stress-tested in terms of cost.”

“…Would a further inquiry throw up something we don’t know? The answer is no. Can we reduce the cost? No, without literally defeating the whole purpose of the exercise and discriminating against a chunk of rural Ireland. And thirdly, should we go ahead now? Absolutely so.

“People talk about State ownership as an alternative. That train left the station when we sold Telecom Eireann….irrespective of that, we have all the advantages of nationalisation in the plan, in this sense, that we will get 60 per cent of excess profits during the run.

“And there is, based on the UK experience, there will be a much larger take up than is anticipated. And we’ll also get 40 per cent of the value of the entire outfit, the entire NBI at the 25-year mark and they’ll be committed to another 10 years to 35.”

“…there’s a lovely old rural expression. That emanates from an agricultural society that I’m proud to come from. And it says you cannot go on weighing the pig. You must, at some point, start feeding it. 

“…I feel, like somebody from the country listening to this, that all the logic could be in delaying this could be to discriminate against the people for whom I come and represent.”

Fine Gael TD, from Galway, Hildegarde Naughton added:

“Nobody, nobody has come up with an alternative, plan B, that is legally viable. Nobody, not even the minister. All the experts that came before us. Not even the recommendation of this all, cross-party, committee report. There is no plan B here. It’s just go out again, review it again.”

Fianna Fáil TD, from Clare, Timmy Dooley said:

“We can have another hearing if we so wish, maybe in the Dáil. I’m happy that the work of all members of the committee has done in trying to get to a position of which there are recommendations now.

“So we’re making recommendations to the Government. We can bring that through if we get time in the Dáil and have another debate…it won’t change. It’s still an option for the Government to either accept or ignore the committee report. So a discussion and debate in the Dáil, I don’t think will change the Government’s mind one way or the other.

“…Are you [Irish Examiner journalist Juno McEnroe] suggesting that we have a debate in the House on the report? Of which I think I know what the outcome of that would be. I know what the result of that would be, based on the cross-party support that has been found.

“Yes, we support the Government in the Confidence and Supply Agreement of which this doesn’t form part of. If you’re suggesting that I’m going to threaten to bring down the Government on the strength of whether or not they accept this report or not – well the answer is ‘No’. The answer is ‘No, we won’t be bringing down the Government on this’.

“We’ll be advising them from an Opposition perspective which is what we have done every step of the way. We have raised very serious concerns for the past two years and we continue to act as a responsible Opposition.”

Related: Consultants paid lavishly for wrong advice on broadband (Cantillon, The Irish Times)

Previously: Overly Complex, Restrictive, Redundant And Unfit For Purpose’

Rollingnews

Ew.

What St James’s Gate could look like?

Anywhere basically.

FIGHT!

From top: hosts and contestants on The Great British Bake-Off 2019; Vanessa Foran

Season 10; who knew?

And who remembered?

Channel Four kept it all very quiet, there was no word at all until they announced the cast (as you were btw) and the Season Premier a fortnight ago.

There was barely a mention until the competing bakers were announced this day last week.

Even I needed reminding that the tent was back up, and the news came from a lad who’d have an anxiety attack if he had to separate eggs.

Before we flour our worktops and roll out this year’s Bake-Sheet series, I need to make what I think is an important disclosure; towards the latter end of last year’s (Season 9) I got stumped in a swamp of lethargy and fatigue.

Out of the nine series so far, I have only missed one show, last year’s final, and between one thing and another I couldn’t even summon the curiosity to see what the bakes were or follow the recipes. I still haven’t. So, I will be somewhat lacking in background to bakes and winners.

I just lost my appetite I suppose. I couldn’t even gather the excitement for Celebrity Bake Off, and it was the best run yet; Russell Brand ffs  (on a side note Harry Hill a Star Baker himself, is signed up for Junior Bake Off 2019).

Hopefully this gap doesn’t interfere or hinder Bake-Sheet 2019; after all it always and only ever is about the bake in front of us. And the Hollywood handshake.

On that I don’t care what conspiracies are rising out there, or his threats to cease delivering the award. There is no bigger currency in baking than a Paul Hollywood handshake. It will never lose its lustre or its true value.

So now to tonight, and a few eye-openers.

Season 10 has increased the slices from 12 to a baker’s dozen (Yes OK, there were 13 bakers in Season 4 (the year Frances Quinn won) and 10 in year 1; I just thought we had settled on 12.

Then there’s the very noticeable age profile of this year’s Bakers. Again, that might just be me; you will meet only one baker tonight older than me.

Admittedly Bake Offenders like myself are always left dazed at what young smarty pants hipster bakers produce, and the flavours and ingredients they introduce, last year’s Kim-Joy being one of the most exciting and unique bakers that ever set foot inside the Tent, so I’m, for now anyway, suggesting that maybe the majority of applications are coming from the under-35s.

Then there’s the reality check; maybe I am that the oul’ wan with the durty laugh, and the old school wooden spoon baking tips?

Fair enough, but I will also have to admit that it would break my heart to see Channel Four exploit their Love Island success, because it would ruin all the previous nine series and what Bake Off grew into from that touring floppy tent in Season 1.

Even with the genius holding up the decision, it still took enormous courage to cast Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding into a mainstream household format.

They took a huge risk by replacing Mary Berry and introducing ad-breaks and sponsors. So, for that reason I trust the producers won’t leave Season 10 down.

A few more things to watch out for; two from Essex. So be prepared for a load of yu’au’ roi darlin.

And there is a Man Bun that might force you to look away.

They took my advice and returned to Cake; but with a twist. Fruit Cake is your episode 1 tonight.

For planning purposes, tonight’s show is 90 mins – maybe two will go and bring us back to normal. Or maybe they are giving us more time with each baker, which was always an issue in the early season.

That would make sense because the contestants were confirmed as far back as February, so maybe, just maybe they couldn’t separate two of them?

Anyway, I am going to leave us all completely open-minded and not cause suggestion that might influence.

So just to remind you all again that I will not be following any GBBO Social Media or Tabloid coverage, and will try to take each bake one by one as independently and as uninfluenced as I can.

In the meantime, grease your baking tins with this

And one spoiler alert. Bread Week is rumoured to be EPIC.

Vanessa will be reviewing each episode.

Pic: Channel 4

Broadsheet.ie